05/27/2016 05:22 pm ET Updated May 27, 2016

HUFFPOST HILL - Trump Campaign Increasingly Suspicious Of Pink Teddy Bear By Television

Donald Trump’s campaign staff is becoming increasingly paranoid, and when you consider what Hillary Clinton did to Vince Foster, can you blame them? The Trump-Sanders debate won't happen, even though the one they had during a 2008 fever dream we suffered was absolutely stellar. And Monday is Memorial Day, when Trump will try not to think too much about all those loser fighter pilots who’ve been shot down. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Friday, May 27th, 2016:

DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY MIGHT END PEACEFULLY - Greg Sargent: "Rep. Elijah Cummings, the chairman of the Democratic convention’s Platform Drafting Committee, stressed that he understood the imperative of reassuring voters about the legitimacy the process, but vowed a level of openness, inclusiveness, and integrity that would succeed at that goal.
Cummings said that he had had private conversations with Sanders, in which the Vermont Senator laid out his hopes for how this all will unfold. 'I have talked to Bernie,' Cummings said. 'I told him that the process would be a fair one. He said, "Elijah, with you being the chairman, I know that’s what is going to happen. And I’m satisfied that that’s going to happen."'" [WaPo]

IT'S ALMOST IF PEOPLE AROUND DONALD TRUMP AREN'T THE MOST STABLE INDIVIDUALS - Which is weird considering their boss can literally fix any problem in the world. Ashley Parker and Maggie Haberman: "A constant stream of changes and scuffles are roiling Donald J. Trump’s campaign team, including the abrupt dismissal this week of his national political director. A sense of paranoia is growing among his campaign staff members, including some who have told associates they believe that their Trump Tower offices may be bugged." [NYT]

Former Jeb guy Tim Miller, @Timodc: In addition to bugs I have reason to believe they should also be worried about moles.

Jonathan Chait: "The Good News Is That Donald Trump’s Campaign Is an Absolute Strategic and Managerial Garbage Fire."

JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF TRUMP LOVING WOMEN - Andrew Kaczynski: "When Donald Trump publicly floated the idea of running for president in 1999, his ex-wife Marla Maples made it clear she would spill the beans on her ex-husband if he were to make it to the general election. 'If he is really serious about being president and runs in the general election next year, I will not be silent,' Maples told London Telegraph. 'I will feel it is my duty as an American citizen to tell the people what he is really like.' The reaction from Trump and his attorney was swift and brutal. They launched a full court effort in the press to discredit Maples and withheld an alimony payment to 'send a message.' The episode illustrates how Trump uses character assassination and threats to quash any opposition. Maples has largely remained silent on Trump’s 2016 candidacy." [BuzzFeed]

President Obama paid tribute to the city of Hiroshima.

JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF TRUMP BEING A GREAT BUSINESSMAN - Drew Griffin, Nelli Black and Curt Devine: "The ads for his university were classic Donald Trump -- Trump stares into the camera and proclaims: 'We're going to have professors and adjunct professors that are absolutely terrific people, terrific brains, successful. We are going to have the best of the best... and these are people that are handpicked by me.' But a CNN investigation finds that Trump and others involved in the school admitted under oath that some promises made to students just didn't happen. In Trump's own deposition this past December, Trump failed to recognize the name of a single presenter or teacher at his real estate seminars. He also confirmed he had nothing to do with the selection process of instructors who taught at the school's events or mentors for the school's 'Gold Elite' programs." [CNN]

Greetings from the Libertarian Party convention, which is occurring next door to Megacon.

DELANEY DOWNER - Have a great weekend! Cell phones cause cancer. Josh Harkinson: "It's the moment we've all been dreading. Initial findings from a massive federal study, released on Thursday, suggest that radio-frequency (RF) radiation, the type emitted by cellphones, can cause cancer. The findings from a $25 million study, conducted over two-and-a-half years by the National Toxicology Program (NTP), showed that male rats exposed to two types of RF radiation were significantly more likely than unexposed rats to develop a type of brain cancer called a glioma, and also had a higher chance of developing the rare, malignant form of tumor known as a schwannoma of the heart." [Mother Jones]

DOUBLE DOWNER - The District finally has a plan to shutter a decrepit, filthy, dangerous and inhumane family shelter in an abandoned hospital and some upper northwest residents are worried about "the negative impact on home values" caused by a small number of homeless families relocating to their ward. And get this: "Homeless lives matter; the lives of community homeowners matter too." Sad! [GreaterGreaterWashington.org]

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PERFECT - What about the affluenza kid? Benjamin Siegel: "Controversial former pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli will support Donald Trump for president in a matchup against likely Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, according to a tweet sent out Thursday night...The 'Pharma Bro' criticized by members of Congress for his behavior during a February congressional hearing on drug prices, had previously supported Sen. Bernie Sanders for president and claimed to have contributed to his campaign." [ABC News]

ADMINISTRATION TOTALLY SCREWING AMERICAN SAMOANS - Pema Levy: "[T]he Obama administration's top lawyers [have taken an] awkward, even embarrassing position: embracing a racist, century-old precedent in order to deny birthright citizenship to people from the territory of American Samoa. American Samoans are the only people born on US soil who are denied birthright citizenship. Five people from the island territory are suing the federal government, arguing that this deprivation violates the 14th Amendment's guarantee of birthright citizenship to "[a]ll persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof...On the opposite side is the Obama administration, which urged the Supreme Court not to take the case in a brief earlier this month. In doing so, the government offered a full-throated endorsement of a set of Supreme Court rulings known as the Insular Cases, which are notorious today for espousing antiquated ideas about colonialism and white supremacy." [Mother Jones]

IN OTHER CITIZENSHIP NEWS - Ed O'Keefe: "Applications for U.S. citizenship soared in the first three months of the year compared with 2015, appearing to confirm the predictions of several Democratic-leaning groups that the numbers would climb in response to the presidential campaign of Republican Donald Trump. If the trends continue, activists now expect nearly 1 million new applications this year — roughly 200,000 more than the average in most years. That uptick would be just the latest signal of how Trump's campaign has fundamentally reshaped the American electorate. Figures released this week by U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services show 249,730 new citizenship applications were submitted from January to March, a 28 percent jump from last year and a 34 percent increase from last quarter." [WaPo]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here's a chipmunk who regrets its behavior.

OH BY THE WAY - Another clue in the mystery of what makes Trump supporters tick, via Yamiche Alcindor: "Victor Vizcarra, 48, of Los Angeles, said he would much prefer Mr. Trump to Mrs. Clinton. Though he said he disagreed with some of Mr. Trump’s policies, Mr. Vizcarra said he had watched 'The Apprentice' and expected that a Trump presidency would be more exciting than a 'boring' Clinton administration. 'A dark side of me wants to see what happens if Trump is in,' said Mr. Vizcarra, who works in information technology. 'There is going to be some kind of change, and even if it’s like a Nazi-type change. People are so drama-filled. They want to see stuff like that happen. It’s like reality TV. You don’t want to just see everybody be happy with each other. You want to see someone fighting somebody.'" [NYT]


- The best Photoshops of Donald Trump's mid-air McDonald's.

- The hydraulic press meets its match.

- Now watch this middle school choir whip, now watch it nay nay.


@DouthatNYT: People who think it's easy to be a "keyboard cowboy" have never tried to rope a steer with nothing but a MacBook Air.

@MEPfuller: Hello @realDonaldTrump do you think we should allow "co-champions" at the spelling bee why is our nation so pc make them spell.

@paulwaldman1: I don't agree with Honey Boo Boo on all the issues, but I like how she tells it like it is and challenges the status quo.

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