Wedding season is in full force and we Babes receive a lot of questions as parents prepare to walk their child down the aisle. Let's face it, weddings and all the related festivities are opportunities for awkward moments and a bit of hand wringing. As parents, we want to do more than just survive our child's wedding. After all, this is their big day and we want it to be the best memory maker ever, free of tension and drama.
To help us navigate the nuptials and answer some tough questions, we sought the advice of a pro that happens to come by her etiquette knowledge naturally. Lizzie Post is Emily Post's great-great-granddaughter and the author of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Sixth Edition. Lizzie offers some sage advice for maximizing the fun and reducing the stress.
Five friends and relatives have each offered to throw my daughter a wedding shower. Is that too many? Can the same people be invited to multiple showers, and, if so, are they expected to bring gifts to each one? I want to have some friends left after the wedding is over!
You can always joke and tell your friends, "The upside? You've made the guest list. The downside? You've made the guest list!" Being invited to multiple showers for the same person can be a bit awkward and VERY expensive. It can look a little greedy so be careful, and don't invite the same people to each one. For members of the wedding party who plan to attend all the showers, Lizzie suggests dividing one big gift into a few small gifts that can be brought to each event.
My son and his fiancé are asking for cash in lieu of presents. I'm mortified! Is this acceptable these days?
Yes! As couples' living situations have changed over the years, receiving cash as a gift has become an option. Lizzie likes to see cash options going towards something specific such as a honeymoon fund or a charity. One of her favorite cash requests was for a couple's garden. The worst and most offensive request Lizzie has ever seen? The couple registered for plastic surgery. Totally tacky.
We're trying to whittle down the guest list and it's causing some friction. What's up with the Plus 1's? It's getting quite expensive inviting guests we don't even know!
If couples are engaged, living together or dating long term, both should automatically receive an invite, each with their individual names inscribed on the invitation. If a guest is completely unattached, it's up to the host whether or not they want to offer a plus 1. Lizzie's pet peeve: if you don't receive a plus 1, DON'T call the host and ask for an additional invite. Guests should be respectful of how expensive it is to throw a wedding.
The final piece of advice comes from Kathy who not only survived her daughter's wedding but loved every minute of it. "From the get-go, all I wanted was for this to be the most special day of their lives, free of headaches and heartache. I knew we hit gold when our newly married couple couldn't wait to tell us that theirs was 'the best wedding they had ever attended.' Whew!"