04/29/2014 05:49 pm ET Updated Jun 29, 2014

Girl Logic Isn't, In Fact, Logical at All

I am not much of a cook. More often than not, I eat Special K crackers and Pez for dinner. So, when it was decided I would be making dinner for my man friend, my first thought was "Well, I'll just wear something that shows a lot of skin so he's distracted from my potential lack of talent in the kitchen," which (obviously) inspired group-text conversations about "girl logic" similar to that.

Author's note: Girls are both ridiculous and amazing.

Here are 10 of my favorites examples:

Girl Logic:

Thinking that if we don't shave before a date, we can prevent being intimate with him "too soon"

Choosing one television show or movie that makes us cry, so we can ensure our "necessary weekly cry" when we "need" it

Eating too much food when we're in a funk can be justified as "eating our feelings" so it doesn't count

We should always be wearing sexy underwear (which is actually a terrible idea when you spin every night, by the way)

On a day that we know we're going to be drinking alcohol, eating less to prevent too many calories (which only makes us drunk faster, and then hungry, and then we eat fried food or pizza)

Wine has to be a part of anything we do with another female

If a man friend does something bothersome, every one of your female friends will say something completely asinine about why, to make you feel better -- when you're over it, your friends all love him again

Anytime you tell your girl friends you're hesitant about a first date, their response is "go for the free meal if nothing else!"

"Getting ready" for a workout. Walk into any gym in LA, and 90 percent of the women will have a fully made up face and perfect hair

Believing we need to use the word "skinny" in our Starbucks order

What did we miss, ladies?