05/13/2015 10:20 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

What Love After Divorce Feels Like

You hang on, hold on and hope that things will be different than how they actually are. And then one day you decide you are done.

You re-think, regret, re-live and then, then, relief.

You head out into the world and then you scurry under ground.

You try again, you have bad dates, you have good dates, you make new friends and you keep trying, at everything.

You go on a non-date and decide you wish it were a date.

Your non-date asks you on a real date, which you think, is a non-date.

You realize you want to stop dating your other dates and only date this date.

And see that....

You thought love had to hurt to be worth it and then find it doesn't ever have to hurt.

You got so used to everything being your fault and then your life is free from blame.

You were so afraid to be yourself that you were no one and then suddenly you are utterly loved for being entirely yourself.

You became invisible and then you hear "wow, you look pretty, you are pretty" and you blush.

Your opinion didn't matter and now it's what matters most.

Your life became smaller until tiny, and then it got louder and brighter and your entire world expanded exponentially.

You gave up your dreams and then are given the opportunity to dream new ones.

You feared making noise and then found freedom to stomp loudly.

You revolved around someone else and then someone starts asking about your day.

You lost your voice and then, you found it.

You forgot how good it felt to laugh and then, you laughed.

You cried silently and then have someone pained by your sadness who cries for you.

You accepted less than and then you don't and never do again.

The one thing you feared most is the one thing you are now grateful for. Everyday.