01/21/2014 05:24 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Shoo Flu!

Okay, people. We're calling out the big guns on this one. The flu epidemic has hit -- full swing -- and it's time to fight back (I'm on day two of sick child at home following two weeks of being home for winter break which conveniently also happens to be right before same child will be home on Monday for MLK day WHICH MEANS MY CHILD HAS PRETTY MUCH NEVER ATTENDED SCHOOL THIS ENTIRE YEAR (pause for deep breath) so my plight to get her out of the house, 'em, healthy is even more of a priority).

So whether it's knocked down your family's door already or you're still dodging bullets, grab your Purell and a huge pot. It worked for Aunt Sadie; it'll work for you. Even if you're not sick (yet), it'll taste mighty good. Due to the emergent nature of the topic at hand, I'm bypassing the witty and life changing post and cutting straight to the chase, pictures and all. Just remember one thing, you CANNOT SCREW THIS ONE UP NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY. If you do, I highly recommend psychotherapy.

Chicken Soup - The Magic Elixir

This s&*t is LIQUID GOLD.


  • 1 whole chicken (rinsed and with that stupid plastic bag of weird stuff removed - yeah, you have to do it yourself)
  • big handful of baby carrots
  • 1 onion (quartered)
  • few stalks of celery
  • 1 potato (cubed)
  • 3-4 cloves of garlic (peeled)
  • 1 parsnip (peeled and chopped in half)
  • 1 bunch fresh italian parsley
  • 1 bunch fresh dill
  • 3-4 heaping tablespoons of powdered chicken consomme
  • S&P to taste


  • Throw your chicken into the pot.
  • Cover chicken with water and boil.
  • Dump out first batch of water (it gets all the yucky stuff off the chicken).
  • Put more water in the pot just to cover chicken.
  • Now add everything else.
  • Boil (again).
  • Once boiling, lower heat to a simmer and cook forever (or at least 2-3 hours)
  • Your soup will now look like this:



  • After approximately 3 hours, take another pot or bowl of equal size and put a big strainer inside of it.
  • Carefully pour the soup into the strainer. Do NOT spill one tiny drop of this special stuff. It's priceless.
  • Your stuff should now look like this:


  • Let this cool for at least an hour.
  • Remove the bones and toss.
  • Remove the chicken and put into another bowl (you can use this later for chicken salad!) so it looks like this:


  • Chop this and toss with a little mayo, celery, S&P and you have lunch for a week!
  • Now take that strainer of vegetables and MASH IT UP letting all of the veggie juices strain back into the soup. (For a slightly different variation with even more taste, toss some of those soft veggies into the blender and puree them before pouring back into the soup).
  • Serve with wide egg noodles or Matzoh balls and watch your flu FLY OUT THE DOOR!

*This soup freezes amazingly well!

Please let me know how yours comes out!!