Ever since I discovered an unfortunate beak in my yolk, I've never much been a fan of eggs.
I grew up a farm girl, which is just a fancy term for child laborer. In fact, that may be the reason my dad finally gave into to having children. Well, that and the trick my mom played on him inspired by the book The Thorn Birds. I haven't read the book, so don't ask me what it was, and I don't want to know anyway because eww.
From the outside, farms look fluffy and colorful and exciting. But when you're 7, they just look like a lot of chores.
One of mine was collecting eggs every morning in the chicken coop. And from the inside of the chicken coop, farms look stinky and dusty and itchy. You could say every day was an Easter egg hunt, and you could also say that's why I don't like Easter egg hunts.
My dad taught me to always, always hold the eggs to the sun to make sure they're not fertilized. (That's fancy for full of chicken fetus.) But when you have more important things to do, like swing from barn ropes and dare the neighbor kids to touch the electric fence, sometimes you simply don't have time to do the sunshine test.
The rest of this story is implied and beyond details, sort of like great The Thorn Birds pregnancy prank -- which is just fancy for "me."
This Easter, I'm transcending egg trauma and reclaiming the hunt. In honor of the tradition, I decided to conduct my own grown-up Easter treasure hunt along east Pearl Street in Boulder, CO. The plan was to search high and low for the best, undiscovered treats.
I didn't expect to find two golden eggs on my first stop, at 20th and Pearl. But everyone knows the golden eggs are filled with the best goodies, so you can't blame me for stopping there.
Psst: I even held them up to the light. And they're totally yummy, through and through -- packed with some of the weirdest repurposed furniture ideas I've ever seen.
Here's what I found on my Easter treasure hunt (view the whole slideshow below):
Golden Egg No. 1: Madelife, 2000 20th St., Boulder.
Here, you can find carved wooden martini glasses, made by Carbondale artist David Rasmussen, who also made a contemporary, sleek, floating wooden credenza. Give me vodka in a wooden glass now.
Drool at Boulder artist Joe Friend's unique (and sexy, hello!) repurposed wood and photography wall hangings. He even printed some of his photos on the hood of an old car.
Golden Egg No. 2: Reclaimed Style: Furniture and Art, 2016 21st St., Boulder.
This store needs a bouncer, because there's no way you can get through here in less than many hours, without being physically removed.
This store specializes in the weirdest-slash-coolest home decor. An old tennis racquet turned into a mirror. An elaborate charcoal gravestone rubbing mural. A chair made out of two old metal golf clubs. A plant stand made out of recycled crutches.
The more closely you look, the more you will get sucked in. By the stories, by the craftsmanship, by the enthusiasm of Ross Neeley, who told me his store title was "the smiley face."
I love Bill Neidig's jewelry made out of bent cutlery (especially the fork bracelets) and the stunning table with a coffee ground and coral inlay, made by Arvada carpenter and engineer, Brian Arbuckle.
"Some of the creativity is just unbelievable here," Neeley says. "Everything here is a piece of art."
Everything is repurposed. Extreme repurposing. So everything has a story. At least one.
Read more stories from the weirdest city in America, Boulder, Colo., here: Only In Boulder.