12/18/2013 11:09 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Cookie Monster Is Real -- And 10 Other Weight Loss Truths

Since the end of 2012 I have lost 80 pounds and gleaned truths about changing eating habits and lifestyle.

In short, I've learned to change an aspect of your life you have to be intentional, consistent, and slay distraction when you see it coming.

The tenacity of a pit bull was needed to lose each and every pound. I also needed a food scale, food journal, and friends who despise drive-thru windows.

Below are 10 truths I discovered this year.

1. The Cookie Monster is real.

He shows up around 3 p.m. and 10 p.m. every day. He tries to convince me oatmeal raisin cookies are a healthy snack. The moment I get bored or idle I hear, "Om nom nom nom nom!"

2. I should read nutritional information before I eat "fat-free" gummies.

Not afterwards with a nervous hand clicking through Myfitpal or Sparkpeople praying for decent caloric intake stats.

3. I cannot estimate nutritional information.

I am not a mathematician, nor am I a master chef. I'll never be able to "taste" the oil. It's a sneaky bastard! Also, I can't eyeball three ounces of anything!

4. Mr. Wonderful is a rock!

My crazy slips through a lot more than usual without a filter of fatty foods. That dude has the patience of Job.

5. Saying I will work out tomorrow does not absolve the fat grams I ate today.

6. Complacency with unhealthy eating habits is a communicable disease I avoid.

I spend less time with people who eat with reckless abandon and spend their days in front of a television. I also stay away from the places these people tend to congregate, e.g., drive-thru windows. I don't do this because I think I'm better than them... I do this because I KNOW that I'm NOT! #thefleshisweak

7. If I'm not eating I have to find something new to do with my hands.

I write.

8. None of my clothes fit anymore. It is not as exciting as I imagined it to be. I have nothing to wear.

However, this is the best annoyance ever.

9. The most annoying question to a serious weight controller is the following: "You look great! How did you do it?"


I stopped treating fried chicken as a basic food group, and discovered that my legs can move very fast in a forward motion if I will them to do so. It was not magic.

10. The scale does not lie.

I cannot intelligibly argue with data.