THE BLOG
08/31/2015 11:31 pm ET Updated Aug 30, 2016

The Fat Jew Latest to Join 'Dancing With the Stars' Cast

BREAKING - The Fat Jew to Join Dancing With The Stars Cast

In an effort to rebuild his career after recent crushing blows, The Fat Jew, AKA Josh Ostrovsky, will join the latest cast of Dancing With The Stars.

"I believe it is a place where I can shine, show my sweet dance moves, and capitalize more on other people's successes," says The Fat Jew.

CAA, who still reps F-Ew, as his close friends call him, replied, "We never abandon a client in a time of need. We believe in him 100 percent in whatever creative endeavor he pursuits, whether it be modeling, or dancing, or aggregating."

The Fat Jew went on to comment: "This show is a great way to promote my upcoming book, which I totally wrote by myself by the way, and my wine and the new album I have in the works with fellow aggregator Steve "Musical Napalm" Aoki. Mad collabs, Bro. Mad collabz. The first single is this killer song I wrote about peace, called 'Imagine'." He went on to add "Dancing With The Stars is a great PR platform since social media is sort of off limits for me right now."

The Fat Jew is referring to the accusations lobbed at him by hundreds of comedians, most notably "super jealz" UCB founder Matt Besser, The State member Michael Ian Black, and Critic's Choice winner Patton Oswalt.

"Whatevz, Broseph. Those haters can suck it. My people have been persecuted for years. First the Germans, then the Palestinians, and now this! So, I'm totally used to jerks coming after me and biting my steez. Did I mention I have a wine?"

When asked if he would be nervous competing against accomplished performers and dancers, The Fat Jew laughed it off. "I may not have any training in any showbiz area, but I have one thing none of those guys have: Balls of steel. I'm gonna roll these babies up and down the dance floor and steal that trophy out from under them."

Dancing With The Stars returns to ABC Monday, September 14th.