I don't care who are you but if you have kids, you are going to hate grocery shopping. Of course, unless it's without the kids. Then it's awesome.
But when you have to drag children into the confines of large, prison like structure (Walmart, Kmart, any "mart" on the face of this earth) it's hell for everyone.
So here you are my fellow inmates, I made you something.
A list of five must-have items to shove in your crumb filled mom purse to keep you sane, your kids happy, and outings less horrific (maybe).
1. Scotch Tape. Weird right? But after almost 10 years of this parenting business, I believe scotch tape is a cure all. Bored/loud/crying/escaping/child? Plop them in the cart and offer them an entire roll. Just go with it.
2. Food. Duh. No explanation necessary. However, for immediate results I suggest more sugar, less whole grains.
3. Paper product of any kind. If your kid is gushing boogers like Old Faithful there is nothing a long grocery receipt can't fix.
4. Aspirin, Excedrin, Ibuprofen. Pain reliever of any kind. For you, not the kids. (Take before entering said prison.)
5. Most importantly, a sense of humor. When you're "that" mom in the checkout line with a kid escaping the tight constraints of the cart ninja style, another child begging for the millionth time "maawwwwom can I have _________(toy, candy, toy candy dispenser) and a missing child, "Middle child?! OMG MIDDLE CHILD!!!!" all within a cloud of stink (really ninja baby? Now?!). You need to be able to laugh at yourself, or you might cry... and that makes the check out lady feel awkward.
So, just remember next time you see a minivan hauling ass out of the store parking lot -- with a wild eyed woman behind the wheel -- please bid way.
It was World War III in there, and she still has to make the drive home.
Alishia, of Just Leesha, is a stay-at-home mom to three girls. You can read more of her parenting blogs, photo tutorials, tips and everyday lifestyle photography at www.justleesha.com