12/01/2014 04:35 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Do You Like Who You See When You Look in the Mirror?


I am not talking about the glass mirror that you look in every morning before you leave the house. Not the one that you get dressed in front of and put on a nice suit or dress, and then stand and evaluate what you see. Not the one that reflects the mask you put on before you face the outside world and portray a role that you are playing in this lifetime. Whether that is of a CEO, Director, Associate, or mother -- doesn't really matter. It's a role. It's a role that many of us define ourselves by. We even introduce ourselves leading with our titles. It goes something like this, "Hello, my name is... I am the Director of Technology at... or I am a stay-at-home mom... or I am the CEO of..." You then proceed to have a conversation that consists of an information exchange that is mostly transactional and more importantly, unmemorable.

I am talking about the Mirror of Authenticity -- your Soul's Mirror. This mirror shows the reflection of yourself when you feel no one is looking -- your true essence.

It's not the reflection of the person that gets ready and puts on the mask that they feel others want to see. This mirror's reflection never hides, it never lies and is your true self. We are so fearful to glimpse into this mirror as we are not sure if we will be good-enough or even worse, that we are less than. It is so much easier to look in the other mirror where we can play dress up and don the apparel that we feel will get picked up by the various boutiques and department stores when we do our daily walk down the runway of life.

There is one trick, however, with this Mirror of Authenticity. You will only see the reflection from this mirror with your eyes closed. Being that this is your Soul's Mirror, it is within you and not outside of you. It is also unique to you. You cannot buy this mirror at a store or borrow one from a friend. You will only see your true self when you are blind to the external thoughts, opinions, expectations and standards of others. A sense of anxiety comes over some people when they are asked to close their eyes.

When you sit in silence, you are immediately transported within and there is an engagement of a key system within your Nervous System and a disengagement of another. Your Parasympathetic Nervous System -- which lowers your sense of stress and blood pressure -- is engaged, while your Sympathetic Nervous System which controls your fight or flight responses and stress producing emotions, is virtually shut down. When done consistently, even sitting for a few minutes in silence while simply observing your breath without controlling it, is very effective in getting to know your true self. This is where the process of Self-Reflection is initiated and Self-Awareness emerges.

A person that eloquently speaks about Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness is Deepak Chopra. His recently released book, The Future of God, discusses this very topic and its importance. This book provides a very practical path to understanding our own place in the universe and takes the reader on a "journey of the spirit" through Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness. If you are interested in digging deeper within your unique self and getting closer to your highest self, I highly encourage you to get this book.

After you have initiated this process of Self-Reflection you must be mindful not to judge yourself too harshly or with someone else's yardstick. You should acknowledge and greet your true self with open arms and embrace all aspects that you see -- the good, the bad and the ugly. It is only when we do this that we can begin any true transformation. Doing anything other than that, is just going through the motions and will not benefit you.

The beauty of the Mirror of Authenticity is that you can access it anytime you are willing to surrender and be honest with yourself. You could choose to look in it every day and marvel at the subtleties within you that are transforming, or you could decide to not do it as often. The one thing that is certain if you choose to look into your soul's mirror as a matter of daily practice: eventually it will be whom you see, not what you see -- and there will be nothing more beautiful.

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