02/18/2014 04:42 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Urban Girl's Dictionary

A guide to words I wish were part of our common vernacular.


miu miu: a designer cat's purr

BILF: Beverly Hills Housewife I'd Like To Fight (see also, Carlton Gebbia)

barre tab: a monthly budget allotted to ballet-inspired fitness classes
"My barre tab was so high this month. I totally have to wait for the next Groupon to exercise."

lulu-lemon: a pair of yoga pants that are more revealing than advertised

blotox: the inability to perform a breathalyzer due to recent anti-wrinkle treatment

horbath: the shower one feels she needs after watching one of Hannah's bedroom scenes on GIRLS

missoni-phobia: the avoidance of wearing full-price designer stripes for fear others will mistake them for the Target line

facehooker: affectionate term for a friend who posts bikini selfies on social media during winter months

vitamiss: regret felt after opting for a lesser brand than the Vitamix

zoe-pack: prescribing a friend a warning for the unhealthy over-use of terms like "I die," "Sky-Sky" and "shut it down"

sensitivity chip: guilt-free, gluten-free, taste-free snack

burching (also, burchin'): effortless accessorizing while on vacation in a tropical climate (often by making use of bright tunics and the color orange)
"Work is so brutal lately. I can't wait 'til Presidents Day weekend when I'm burchin' it with an umbrella drink in my hand."

insect-aside: the knowing consumption of a glass of wine after a bug has flown inside

Claire-sonic: the toothbrush one longs for after an all-night Homeland binge

Tinder-izing: researching a move to another city by logging into Tinder during an airport layover

Google-eyed: the feeling of career motivation a young professional experiences after networking at a tech conference filled with young hipster gurus who make Google Glasses look cool

whore-ding: the realization one's full-to-the-brim closet is more suited for drinks in the financial district than a job in the financial district