09/26/2009 09:25 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

GOP Learns Definition of 'Investigation,' Freaks Out

Republicans from the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence say that they will no longer participate in an investigation into the Bush administration's interrogation policies, arguing that they were all for investigations until Attorney General Eric Holder outrageously called for investigations.

Investigations are one thing, but investigations are another matter entirely, a discombobulated Sen. Christopher Bond (R-MO) told the Washington Post.

"Had Mr. Holder honored the pledge made by the President to look forward, not backwards, we would still be active participants in the Committee's review."

We'd be investigating right now if it wasn't for all this business about investigating!

Someone, fetch me the Tylenol, or at least explain to the sophomoric Sen. Bond, a man who refers to CIA agents accused of torture as "terror fighters," that investigations inherently mean looking back at evidence, and cannot solely entail looking forward. "Looking forward" is a euphemism for covering up past crimes.

The GOP is starting to sound like a broken record with this, "We'd be changing stuff if we didn't have to change stuff" anthem. First, we heard this with health care. "We're psyched to change health care as long as we preserve private insurance companies!" And now it's the same argument with the torture investigations. "Of course we want to prosecute crimes! As long as no one looks at any evidence, no witnesses are called, and absolutely no one acknowledges anything bad ever happened. I can't hear you! [Fingers in ears] LA, LA, LA, LA!"

Really, what are the limits of this hapless quest for bipartisanship? There has to be a point where the Democrats accept that they are the adults in the room, and move forward with their promises of reform and accountability.

Thankfully, at least for the moment, Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), the committee chairman, said she intends to press forth with or without Republican support. "That study and investigation is being pursued, additional staff are being hired, and the committee is continuing the work with all due diligence."

Good. Unsurprisingly, investigations do better when they entail persons interested in the whole investigating part of the process.

Cross-posted from Allison Kilkenny's blog. Also available on Facebook and Twitter.