10/13/2014 12:15 pm ET Updated Dec 13, 2014

Defeating Your Inner Hater

Success comes from hard work and innovation.
You have to think outside of the box in order to create your own mold.

Too many times we get discouraged when we want to try something new.
For those people looking to lose weight, they sometimes psych themselves out and find a gazillion excuses about why they can't lose weight:

"I'm big boned and e'rbody in my family is too!"
"I don't eat that much, sooooo I don't need to change my diet!"
"I can't afford a gym/trainer/weight loss plan."
"I can't run!"
"I can't sweat!"

Or it's something more general like:

"I can't learn to drive now! I'm too old!"
"I've messed my life up. Bad things are gonna always happen to me!"
"I quit school, I'll never be smart enough or successful enough. "
I have two kids, I'm a single mom. I should settle for whatever I can get."

This is what I call your Inner Hater.

It's that part of you that pushes fear, doubt and worry to the front of your mind and out of your mouth, to try to drown out what your heart is telling you. You give off negative vibes and attract negative situations, or what I call s*ituations.

We all have Inner Haters. We're human. Don't beat yourself up about it or waste any more time wallowing in negativity or tap dancing to the noise! The Inner Hater in you thrives on negativity and is the CEO of creating confusion and challenging courage.

Months ago while doubting myself, I received a random phone call from someone that I admire. She told me that she was inspired by my work and posts, and said that my passion for fitness and wellness, will save someone's life. She said that this transition that I've decided to make from business coaching and my attorney practice into speaking, personal branding and career coaching is necessary, as its a gift that was given for me to share with others. I had NO idea that she was keeping track of me on social media. Her phone call was the jolt that I needed, not because she made me feel good about myself -- I love every part of the woman that I am. Her words were confirmation of my purpose, mission and message.

I did the running man.
My eyes got watery.
My heart skipped a beat.

How about you?
What should you do when your Inner Hater tries to take the stage?


Recognize -- Your purpose is YOUR purpose. Stay focused and don't apologize for your goals or dreams.

Rise -- Your path is YOUR path. GET UP! Even when there are cracks in the road, keep grinding.

If it's in your heart to lose weight, then do it and act like you already have. Carry yourself as if you are in the image that you want yourself to be in. If you know that when you get that six pack, you will do whatever it takes to keep that body -- live in that lifestyle now.

If you want a new career, make choices instead of excuses to get there. Choose to invest in your education or certifications that are necessary to get you where you want to be. Start surrounding yourself with people that have already reached a goal similar to your own.

If you want healthier relationships, treat it like a job. Most employers give their employees annual reviews. Try it with your friendships -- even the ones you have with family members. Evaluate these relationships. True friends will support you unconditionally. They will also add some sort of positive value to your life. You have to think how these people became your friends -- was it during the time your Inner Hater was headlining? Were you in a dark place? Were your behaviors and values different from what you're transitioning from? If so, you have to stay on track -- don't let them become the hype-man for your Inner Hater.

You'll start to realize that everyone isn't positioned to help you live in your purpose. Some people throw you off from your path without even recognizing it. Healthy relationships are necessary for your peace of mind and success. While I'm not saying fire these people from your life, they can play different positions. In your evaluation, you also have to evaluate your role. If you aren't being the friend that you should be to someone, then you aren't getting the most out of your relationship either.

Remember, the only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Your purpose, passion and dreams are waiting. When you passionately live in your purpose, the universe will give you confirmation and help you renew your commitment.

Moving forward, I hope that you continue embrace and exploit your purpose by making bold moves and pursuing all of the desires of your heart.

Send your inner hater packing. Now.