04/23/2014 05:07 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

7 Ways to Deal Until It Gets Better

Whenever you are dealing with something, particularly depression or bullying, people are constantly telling to "just hold on" -- and you do (sometimes by your fingertips.) They say, "It gets better!" but when?

Unfortunately, it does take a while: Two weeks, two months, two years. Yes, it gets better but the problems still remain for right now. No one is really told how to help the problems when they are going on, or ways to cope with being upset. So, here are 7 things that you should remember and that can help you until it gets better.


1. Block out as much negativity as you can

Surround yourself with positive people. People who are always negative can make you think more negative thoughts and influence bad decisions. Remember, misery loves company. Avoid things and places that you know will make you upset.

2. Don't bottle up feelings

Keeping feelings bottled inside isn't healthy and can cause breakdowns. A lot of people hold it inside, but the feelings need to be expressed or talked about. Talking about your problems truly does make you feel better, and it can make things clearer to get it out of your mind. Talk to a friend, a teacher, a parent or even a therapist. Express your feelings through music or go the gym and hit a punching bag, write a song or just scream into your pillow.

A method to get your feelings out without talking to someone: If you're uncomfortable talking to people, write a letter and put every little thing bothering you into it. Write about that girl in your math class or tell off your boyfriend/girlfriend, all on the paper. Once you write it down, fold it up and tear it up, burn it, whatever. You get your feelings out and say everything you want to say, without causing hurt to anyone else, or talking out loud.

3. Take care of yourself

Most of the time, if you look bad, you'll feel bad. Trust me, I know how comfortable sweats are, but once in a while change it up. Sleep for the amount of time needed for your body, brush your teeth, brush your hair and don't leave holes in your socks. If you look good, chances are you'll feel good. You'll feel at least a little bit more confident.

You don't have to go all out to look good -- a simple switch of a button -up instead of a T-shirt will work. Just try a different hair style, wear the new dress in your closet, show off your new sneakers -- take pride in how you look. Despite what you think, you're beautiful.

4. Get out of the house

It's tempting when you feel badly to isolate yourself from the outside world and stay inside, but in the end it will end up making you feel worse. ake a walk around your neighborhood and get some sun, go shopping at the mall or go out to eat.

Don't sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. If you spend your whole life in the dark, how can you expect to see the light?

5. Don't push away

Your friends may not understand what you're going through, but if they're offering support, take it. Being alone all the time can cause you to over think things and make you feel worse. Feeling alone is the worst feeling. Try to talk to your friends and don't push them away because at a certain point, they aren't going to try anymore. Don't take your friends for granted.

Invite your friends over if you don't feel like going out. Try to get out of the house with them when you can. Go out to lunch with them or have a movie night. It can be surprising how just one night can change your mood.

6. Find a passion

Find something to temporarily distract your problems. Join a sports team, join chorus, take an art class, learn an instrument, take photos -- find something that takes you to another place. Joining a new club or joining a team can help you make new friends with common interests. Try new things and see what you do and don't like. When you find your passion, go with it.

7. Learn to love yourself

You should be your biggest supporter, not your biggest enemy. It's easier said than done, but it is possible to love yourself. People will come and go out of your life, but you are always with yourself. If you can learn to love yourself, life may be a bit easier. Look into the mirror every single morning before you go off to work or school.

Find one thing about yourself that you like, and admire it. Find a different thing every day. It could be the freckles on your nose, your nail beds, the way your eyes squint when you smile. Stand in front of the mirror and learn to love your body and your mind. Learn to love your imperfections, not hate them, because they're what makes you, you.

And most of all, remember, it DOES get better.

This was originally posted on my blog,

Need help with substance abuse or mental health issues? In the U.S., call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.