THE BLOG
05/21/2014 08:06 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Most Important Thing in Life

There is one thing that underpins everything in your life... yes, everything!

What could it be?

Money? No -- despite what you think! As long as you have enough so you can eat and have shelter and can pay for essentials, money is not a factor in joy.

Health? To some degree yes -- but this other thing impacts your health dramatically.

Family? No. They help but don't affect everything.

Position or status in life? No -- that is just a label anyway.

The one thing that underpins all areas in your life is...

How you feel about yourself.

That's it. A short sentence with monumental implications.

Firstly, most of us don't know how we feel because we have not stopped to notice for years. Jon Juradini, a professor of psychiatry at University of Adelaide, says, "Life is not just about feeling good. Life is about being good at feeling."

2014-05-21-lotus_flower.jpg

I believe this to be true. Many of us have been numb for so long we don't even know we are numb!

Secondly, not only do we not know how we feel, but we have never really consciously thought about how we feel about ourselves. It has just been a program running in the background of our lives controlling our thoughts, actions and lives.

Thirdly, we don't realize that how we feel about ourselves is often embedded by the time we are 5. We carry those beliefs and fears embedded at that time for the rest of our lives -- unless we become aware of them. So as parents, it's seriously worth considering this and discussing it with your children as soon as they are old enough to comprehend a conversation about fears.

Do you believe you are worth loving? Or lovable?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Go forth and start exploring! Begin an inner journey and find out how you feel about yourself -- it will affect everything else -- everything! Maybe begin just by feeling -- it is sometimes harder than it sounds! Then work on finding out how you feel about yourself.

Then start to forgive yourself; accept yourself and ultimately love yourself. It is the key to all success!

Do you believe you are safe and can create your own safety by setting boundaries?

Do you feel connected and loved -- or do you fear death, separation or abandonment.

These core fears are often the keys to how we feel about ourselves. We use words like "insecure," "poor self esteem" and "lacking in confidence" to describe the same thing -- people who don't feel good about themselves.

Great leaders can create an environment that makes people feel good about themselves.

Great parents say and do things and model behavior that helps children feel they are worth loving, safe and secure.

New, adoring partners can help us see the astonishing beings that we really are and help us feel great about ourselves -- until things go downhill... which then reinforces all the fears that stopped us feeling good about ourselves before the relationship began!

Friends who unconditionally accept us often reinforce the fact that we are lovable, worth loving and loved. All of which makes us feel better about ourselves.

Achieving targets we set for ourselves helps us feel good about ourselves.

Serving others transforms how we feel about ourselves and gives us some sense of purpose and meaning in life -- which changes everything.

Connecting to something bigger than ourselves and realizing that there is something out there that is wiser than we are, accepts us unconditionally, is more loving than we can imagine and there to help us makes a difference to how we feel about ourselves.

Learning and growing teaches how that we are smart and capable and enhances our confidence.

So begin today -- find your fears, eradicate them and feel good about yourself. Then focus on helping others feel good about themselves.

It's my fail-proof recipe for a joy filled life!

2013-12-03-Amanda_gore_emailCopy.jpg

Amanda Gore (www.amandagore.com) is an author, award-winning motivational speaker and joy facilitator! Her philosophy is that Joy is an Inside Job. Finding joy is the secret to more productive, creative, successful and happy humans -- at work and home. Amanda is also the director of The Joy Project. To book Amanda for your event click here or email admin@amandagore.com. Connect with Amanda on Facebook - The Joy Project page