THE BLOG
09/23/2014 12:45 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

A Mom's Day in Tweets

Layland Masuda via Getty Images

My youngest daughter is at the age where her thoughts are still rather, well, unfiltered. She says pretty much anything she's thinking. You know, things like, "You talk too much, Mommy." And, in this case, she's probably right. So, I couldn't help but think that the moments of my day could be captured in 140 characters or less. I mean, it's not like I'm a social media addict. But if I were, and I live tweeted my day, it might look a little something like this...

You. Guys. It's *way* too early. Go back 2 bed. #itsstilldarkoutside

Great, now u woke ur sister up. #iusebadgrammarat5am

It's ur brother's turn 2 pick the cartoon. #notheotherbrother

I know, I know. You're far too grown up for cartoons now. I meant "show." #pleasedontpickKickinIt

Ooh, good pick. I'll stay & cuddle w/someone. Anyone. #teamAustinandAlly

I wasn't watching anyway. No, really, I wasn't. Yeah, I'll get u some milk. #anothergallongone

Ok, u can put the lid on the sippy cup all by yourself. #spillnumberone

Sure, u can sit in my lap. #allthatmilkaintlight

Stop fighting. You can *both* sit in my lap. After all, I have 2 legs. #andvaricoseveins

Oops, have 2 go pack ur lunches. #andmakebreakfast #toddlerhelper #notsohelpful

TV off. Now. #noreallyturnitoff #now #now

1 raisin bread- butter, no crust. 1 raisin bread- butter, w/crust. 1 raisin bread- no butter, tops cut off. #shortordercook

Sit down. In the middle of your chair. Yes. Now stay there. #formorethan5seconds

Ok, go brush ur teeth, comb ur hair & get dressed. #likewithtoothpasteandacomb

Well, I don't know where ur shoes are either. #ourhouseisnotthatbig #butyourshoesare

Come on, guys. U should be ready by now. Almost time 2 leave 4 the bus. #andwevebeenupforanhourandahalf

Nice! Love how u found a way to incorporate every single color of the rainbow into ur outfit again. #andpulledyoursocksuptoyourcrotch

Ok, grab ur lunch boxes, pack up ur backpacks. #Daddy's taking you to the bus again. #stillinmyjammies

Wait! #LilSis is going 2 the bus stop w/u. #withthreedollsafootballandamajorcaseofbedhead

Exhale.

#damnforgotsunscreen

Guess I should do the breakfast dishes now. #orcheckFacebook #andInstagram #Twittertoo

How was the bus stop? Doing my exercises. Wanna play w/ur dolls? #pleasesayyes #mamaneedstoburnoffherchardonnay

Well #LilSis, sorry I'm not sweating as much as u think I should be while u watch from the couch. #towelplease #andoxygen

I'm gonna hop in the shower. #showerfortwo #notthesexykind

What?! No! Don't wear a diff outfit 2 school than u wore 2 the bus this am. Pleeeese. #fashionista #laundrywhore

Detangler. Comb. Tears. Chase. #repeat

Let's go! Your teachers r waiting for u. #ofcoursetheylllikeyourdress #andsparklyshoes

Press this button to open the door. Good job, hop in. #justlikethat #haveyoureadmyminivanmanifesto

They can still c u behind my leg. Why don't u show #MsTeacher ur shoes? #theyremoreexpensivethanmine

Ok, c u in a bit. I <3 u sooooo much! #dontcry #oriwilltoo #andiputonmakeuptoday

I'll just check a couple emails. Work on a post or 2. #orcheckFacebook #andInstagram #Twittertoo

Wait, how is it pick-up time already? #stillhaventdonethosebreakfastdishes #ormyhair

Hi, sweetheart. I missed u 2. Tell me more! #ohmyheart

Sure u can have 12 different things that don't make any sense together 4 lunch. #whatbabywantsbabygets

Wow #LilSis just talked for 45 mins straight. My stomach muscles r sore. #notfromworkingout #didntsweatenuf #fromlaughing

Nap time. Good night, sleep tight, God bless u. #yesillleavethelighton #andthedooropen

Wonder if her dolls <3 her monologuing in there as much as I do. #doubtit #babydolljustgotatimeout

Now I'll get to those emails. And posts. #orcheckFacebook #andInstagram #Twittertoo

Wait, it's *what* time?! #stillhaventdonethosebreakfastdishes #orlunchdishes #ormyhair

Sweetie, time 2 get up 2 go get ur brothers. #bedheadround2 #screwit #wewillbetwinsies

Who are all these moms in cute outfits w/makeup & hair done?! #nofriendsofmine #shouldhavegonethruthecarpoolline

#pleasedontbecrying #pleasedontbecrying #pleasedontbecrying

Hi, #LilBro! #smiling #exhale

Hug. #yesplease #kindergartenistough

A boy was doing *what* on the playground? Why?! #pleasetellmehesnotyourfriend #mamahaskindergartenfearstoo

Hi, #BigBro! How was your day? #notayesornoquestion #fineisnotanacceptableanswer

Wow, 5th grade homework in 3rd grade? Your teacher does sound tough. #goodluckwiththatkid #imnotsmarterthana5thgrader #ora3rdgrader

Sure, I'll turn up the music so I can't ask u any more questions abt ur fine day. #whyugottabesorude #shakeitoff #shakeitoff

Snacks. More milk. Breakfast dishes. Lunch dishes. Snack refills. Snack dishes. #littlekidsbigmesses #spillnumbertwo

2014-09-22-HuffPomotherhood.jpg

Fine w/me if u boys go tackle each other senseless. #thankgoodnessforbrothers #thatwontlastlong

Why don't we go play soccer or baseball outside? #andbyweimeanyou #illblowbubbles

Kicks. Giggles. Pop flies. Giggles. Bubbles. Giggles. Slides. Giggles. Hose. Giggles. #LilSisterswateringcanisoverflowing #andsoismyheart

Heading in 2 make dinner. Clean up & come inside in a few. #nuggetswillbewaiting #theyreorganic #notreally

I don't know when Daddy's coming home 2nite. Around dinnertime. #repeat #againandagain #andagain

Yay! He's home. #magic

Sit! In your chair. With your butt in the middle. Pushed in to the table. Yes, like that. #noreallysitdown

What was 1 funny thing that happened 2 u today? #bodilyfunctionsareoffthetableatthetable #notreally

Seriously. Sit down & stay there. #doineedtostrapyoutoyourchair

What was 1 thing that upset you today? #notincludingme

My job here is done. #foodonplates #convoinmotion #withasideoflaughter #andwineforme

Shower time. Keep the water in the tub! #whoamikidding

You. Guys. Why is the bathroom floor soaking wet?! Out. Now. #everytime #whowillwintheblamegame

Get back in, #BigBro. Still have soap in ur hair. #everytime #thereisnowaythisisyourbrothersfault

Inhale. #lovethesmellofcleancuddles

It's ur brother's turn 2 pick the cartoon. #notheotherbrother

I know, I know. You're far too grown up for cartoons now. I meant "show". #pleasedontpickKickinIt

No, no, *no*! #hepickedKickinIt #wouldratherdothedinnerdishes

Bedtime, #LilSis. Yes, you can sing this one. #allbyyourself #twinkletwinkle #yesillleavethelighton #andthedooropen #wider

Good night, sleep tight, God bless you. Daddy & I <3 u soooo much. #soverytrue

Your turn boys. #nottoobigtocuddle #yet #buttheyreadtomenow

Superhero sheets. Missing teeth. Multiplying freckles. Tired eyes. Racing minds. So big, yet so little. And they're all mine. #fornow

Their words. My pride. Their backs. My scratches. Their fears. My kisses. #missionaccomplished #peace

Owwww! You. Guys. How many times do I have 2 tell u 2 clean up when ur done playing?! #steppedonaLego

Good night, sleep tight, God bless you. Daddy & I <3 u soooo much. #soverytrue #evenifmyfootisswellinguprightnow

What #LilSis? No, nobody's going to come in ur room 2nite. Yes, because we put a sign on ur door. #postitnotesscarebadguys

Now I'll get 2 those emails. And posts. #orwatchSYTYCD #andScandal

What's the matter, #LilBro? #sureillcomelieinbedwithyou #whatdidwedobeforeDVRs

Finally. Asleep. #lovewatchingthemdream #littleangelsonearth

My mind's still racing. #longdaysshortyears #patienceisavirtue #notminethough #justdoingmybest

Tomorrow will be different. #notreally #hopenotatleast #lovethislife #chaosincluded #thatsonethingilearnedtoday

#motherhoodunfiltered

A version of this post originally appeared on Using Our Words.

Amy Heinz is a San Francisco Bay Area mom of three and the writer behind Using Our Words -- a parenting blog filled with lessons she's learned (usually the hard way), laughs she's enjoyed (mostly at her own expense), and tears she's shed (this mama's got heart). You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.