One of the themes I've been noticing coming up for my clients and friends this week is this idea of forgiveness -- mainly forgiveness of self. Whether it be trying to forgive yourself for an unsuccessful business venture, a miscarriage, a perceived failure at work, a failed relationship, not exercising, not eating right, not meditating... the list goes on and on.
We all have some part of us that needs forgiving in order to heal, but for some reason, most of us fight it with all we have. Maybe on some level, it's shameful for us to show forgiveness and compassion for ourselves. Maybe we see it as a form of weakness. But here's the thing: As moms, we take care of the people in our lives all day long and for some reason, we do not take the time to take care of ourselves. It's easy to become depleted and have little more to give.
Let's show up for ourselves so we can show up for and take care of others. Let's work on ourselves so we can be better moms, wives, daughters and friends.
The first step is to forgive ourselves for anything that needs forgiving. Below are a few ways we can do this.
1. Acknowledge what needs attention. Are you feeling like you are not ready to put yourself out there to find a new job because you feel so burned out from your last job? Are you feeling stuck in your current situation because you are freaked out about actually starting your own business due to one that failed years ago? Are you too afraid to start trying again after suffering from a miscarriage?
2. Make a list of the parts of you that needs healing and forgiveness. Is it your confidence, your heart, your body?
3. Allow compassion and love to flow to these parts of yourself. I am sure you have been in a situation when one of your kids skinned her knee and you rush over and hold her and hug her and speak softly to her until she feels better. Try practicing that with yourself. Know that you deserve the same compassion.
4. Create a mantra. "I forgive myself for ____, and I love and accept myself fully" or "Even though I am not ready to move on from ____, I forgive myself." Write it down on a post it and put it in your car or bathroom mirror. Or even put it in your phone's calendar and set it to pop up as a reminder once a day.
5. Burn the list of so-called failures. Or toss it in the trash or delete the document. The idea is that after a week or two of this practice, the list is released into the universe, and you are set free of it.
It can take a few years to really, fully forgive yourself, but it is an ongoing practice. Give yourself some space to do this and be easy on yourself. The more clearing and healing you can do, the more space you open up for abundance and love to come in.
Andi Wickman is a mentor, coach, hand holder, lifter-upper of moms who want to live a more purpose driven life. She helps mamas feel more confident in their lives, bodies and relationships so they can be more present, caring parents and humans. (And so they can really enjoy the hell out of life for a change!) Check out her free 3 Day Mini Course for help with managing your crazy busy life: www.andiwickman.com/mini-course/