07/09/2014 05:51 pm ET Updated Sep 08, 2014

Dear Media: Please Stop Reporting on Mila Kunis' 'Baby Bump'

Let me start by saying that I am a huge Mila Kunis fan.

I think that she's a very talented actress and one of the few beauties out there surrounded in a sea of mediocrity of today's actresses. As I've even discussed in my book series, The Peter Pandrew Trilogy, I went to bat for her before she really caught on and have even got into vehement fights over her appearance, testifying that she would grow into the show-stopper she would become (and I was right, as now she has fully reached it-girl status).

I'll go one step further: I loved That 70's Show.

I thought it was amazing and featured an extremely talented young cast who all had great chemistry. I still watch it every chance I get and it never gets old. When I found out that Ashton Kutcher (Kelso) and Mila Kunis (Jackie) had become an item in real life? My way-too-invested heart skipped a beat (even though I really thought she belonged with Hyde, but hey, anything was better than Fez). When I found out they were having a baby? I couldn't be happier for them! And even though I'm not one for marriage, relationships and children? I wished them nothing but good things when I heard they were engaged.

But, as much as I love these two, and I could seriously watch eight episodes in a row every night of the very show I've already seen every episode of that they starred in? I truly could not care less about hearing about Mila Kunis' growing "baby bump" on a daily basis, and how many ways the media can find cute nicknames on how to say it.

I don't care that she's "preggers."

I don't care that they're having "That 70's Baby" -- which really doesn't even make sense, so that writer should be fired.

I don't care what she's craving, how he's taking care of her, how fat she's getting, how she likes being pregnant, how she hates being pregnant, how he likes her pregnant, how she handles her mood swings, how her hair smells while pregnant, what maternity clothes she's been buying, or if she calls up a Kardashian for some pregnancy tips (because let's face it -- she's not doing that).

I don't care about any of this.

This is seriously one of those times where all those pretentious people who ask, "Isn't there anything more important to report on, like Syria? Read a book!" need to come out of the woodwork already. There needs to be some kind of sworn oath that there cannot be one more piece of news on this nonsensical garbage.

You would think they were having the royal baby. And I understand that people consider this "Hollywood Royalty" to a very large extreme -- but it's not. It will never be crowned king or queen. It's a baby. And right now, it's a pregnancy. So until the baby's born and we have to hear the incessant stories about "That 70's Baby" and its name, gender and weight?

Please, for the love of God, I beg of you, press -- Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis actually are two talented and beautiful people. They are not Kardashians... You can find definitely something more interesting to report on them.