07/27/2010 04:21 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

BP Replaces Tony Hayward with Startled Deer

LONDON (The Borowitz Report) -- Following through on its pledge to install fresh leadership at the top of the company, BP today replaced embattled CEO Tony Hayward with a startled deer.

Bucky, the red deer selected to take the helm at BP, is believed to be the first woodland creature ever to run a multinational corporation.

In his first appearance before reporters in London, however, the antlered executive garnered mixed reviews for what some observers said was an unsteady performance.

Appearing frightened by the TV lights, Bucky kicked over the podium and then pranced down the hall before being subdued with a tranquilizer dart.

"Clearly he's a little rough around the edges," said BP board chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg. "But he still did better than Tony."

Elsewhere, Apple unveiled a new iPhone app that translates Fox News into news. More here.

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