By 5-4 Vote, Supreme Court Decides Gores Must Stay Married

WASHINGTON - (The Borowitz Report) - In what is shaping up to be one of the most controversial decisions in the history of the institution, the Supreme Court decided by a 5-4 vote today that former Vice President Al Gore and his wife Tipper must remain married.

The vote, which critics noted was strictly on party lines, had justices appointed by Republican presidents overturning the Gores' announced separation.

The historic decision marked the first time that the Supreme Court has upended the divorce plans of a former vice president, according to vice presidential marriage historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota.

"While some will surely criticize this decision, it actually speaks to the strength of our democratic institutions," he said. "The Gores will remain married, whether they like it or not - but there were no tanks in the streets." More here.

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