WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Moments after news of President Obama's choice for Supreme Court justice spread across Washington, congressional Republicans rushed to insert the name "Elena Kagan" into speeches opposing the President's judicial nominee.
In the text of a speech released Sunday, hours before Ms. Kagan was selected, House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) states, "I opposed the nomination of BLANK because I believe BLANK would lead the court down a dangerous path towards judicial activism. In short, I cannot think of a worse choice for Supreme Court than BLANK."
The anti-Kagan speeches were generated last week before Ms. Kagan was nominated, GOP insiders said, by using a new iPhone app called iOppose. More here.