06/24/2009 03:08 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Sanford's Penis Resigns From Republican Governors Association

After acknowledging that it had been in Argentina for the past five days, the penis of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford retired from its post as head of the Republican Governors Association.

Facing the cameras for the first time, Gov. Sanford's penis said that it made the painful decision to resign from the RGA "for the sake of the Republican Party."

"There are times in a penis's life when you have to look yourself in the mirror and do what's right," the Governor's genitals said. "This is one of those times and I am one of those penises."

The announcement by Mr. Sanford's penis drew mixed reactions, including from Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev): "Why would you go all the way to Argentina when there's perfectly good tail on your staff?"

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