THE BLOG
01/05/2015 04:27 pm ET Updated Mar 07, 2015

The Bride's Pyschic Thinks I'm Pregnant

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Sometimes you're a guest at a wedding. Sometimes you're the server. On this particular night I was happily filling drinks, complimenting fashion choices and pointing to the bathrooms.

It's not often that I get to work a wedding. It's a nice change of pace until it's 1:00 a.m. and I'm tired. Still, I maintain my professionalism, because I was raised well.

Part of my duties for this blessed event included hosting a free bar for the guests.

Throughout the night the lovely bride kept checking in with me. She would order a drink, then ask if I wanted a chair. No, I assured her I'm used to being on my feet for 10 hours at a time, but thanks so much. "Now shoo, and enjoy you're night."

She must have asked me at least three times, which made me wonder if she should be cut off or remembered as the most considerate bride yet.

After midnight the party started to wind down and last to leave were the newlyweds. The Bride wandered towards my work station where I was bent down picking up some of her decoration debris.

She snapped compassionately at my coworker. "You aren't going to make the pregnant girl pick all those up are you???!"

Oh Hell.

From the ground I looked up and forced a smile. " t's O.K. I'm not pregnant."

Bride, dead in the eyes, states, " Yes, you are."

It's late and I'm done. "Ummm nope. I'm pretty sure I'm not."

Bride: "Ummm, yes you are, you have to be, you look pregnant."

Coworker is now hiding in a corner shivering

Me: "Well, I'm NOT (still smiling). I've had three kids, and let's just say, well, that I'm not."

Bride, completely baffled spits out, "But you have to be, the wedding officiant is also a psychic on the side, and she said someone in the room tonight was pregnant."

Me: (OH so this isn't about my muffin top, it's about your sometimes psychic, much better.)

Bride "So I wracked my brain, and it just can't be anyone at the wedding and then I saw you, and we all figured it was you."

Me: "So that's why you kept asking if I needed a chair, I see. I just thought you were being nice."

Bride: "I felt so bad that you had to be on your feet all night. So, you're not preg-"

Me: "NO."

I pick coworker off floor and move along.

Honestly.

This post was originally seen on Detached From Logic under the "So This Happened" tab.