WELLNESS
05/23/2016 10:22 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

6 Silly Mistakes You Make in Pursuit of Happiness

Deborah Harrison via Getty Images

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Be happy.

Do you get confused by that.

I mean, happiness. You're told to be happy no matter what.

Everywhere you find advice on happiness. Books promising to deliver true happiness. Blog posts telling you do this and you'll be happy. Friends and family telling you to add happiness on your to-do-list.

You strive to stay happy. But the more you pursue happiness, the harder it gets to achieve.

The truth is happiness shouldn't be your focus. Striving to be happy causes you to be miserable.

The mistakes caused by chasing happiness

1. You are addicted to quick fixes

And the chase of happiness leads to pleasure.

Which causes you to rely on it in unhealthy way.

The problem with quick fix pleasure leaves you craving for more as soon as you've achieved it-its like drugs where a person becomes addicted and all they want is their next fix.

Or junk food where the craving surpasses the side effects of eating that food. The more they eat,the more they want more...And eventually it leads to health issues.

To achieve long lasting happiness invest in meaningful experiences. Like learning a new skill. Mastering that skill is a journey that brings satisfaction, and it propels you forward, it also gives you a reason for living and when it comes to fruition, you'll have that ridiculous smile thats contagious.

2. You want it now

You become self-centered instead of achieving happiness through meaningful experiences and services to others.

When you focus on must have it now. You become a "me' person which causes you to prioritize happiness over friends, family and those who need you.

You know making a difference in other peoples lives brings lasting happiness.

By reaching down and lifting others up gives you meaning, purpose and fulfillment which surpasses everything else.

Learn to slow down, Lao Tzu said,

Nature doesn't hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

3. You ruin experiences

Have you ever planned for a vacation only to have it ruined by your higher expectations of the place?

You were probably determined to be happy in a certain way and you ended up focusing too much on what was lacking.

Those who do certain activities with a specific set of expectations end up enjoying less than those who focus and soak in the experience rather than the expectation.

Try to accept whatever experience comes your way. And you'll be able to appreciate the positive things around you instead of seeking for fantasies because Its extrapolates things into that which doesn't exist.

4. You give up on opportunities

You start on adventures but abandon them as soon as you experience a roadblock. You expected the ride to be smooth but instead you got bruised.

That experience left you anxious because you expected to succeed but failed.

To achieve your dream you can't expect to be happy every moment.

Ride through the rough wave, experience it, gain wisdom and in the future you'll be armed to deal with it.

As they say;

Opportunities is missed by most people simply because it's dressed in overalls and looks like hard work.

Don't let it fool you...ride on the rocky ride and you'll be happier in the end.

5. You seek in wrong places

You are obsessed in finding happiness no matter what. In the process it gives you poor judgment leading to unhappiness.

For example; you might want a to be like the joneses because they seem happy after buying a new house. You go out and buy one. Keeping up with the neighbors or friends is stressing you out.

It's the old saying

I'll be happy when I get X. But once you get X you realize it's not everything you expected.

-And it never is, never was and never will be.

True happiness is from within yourself, not from outside source, such as things or people. You can't expect others or things to make you happy.

5. You link happiness to perfection

You want everything you do as perfect as it can be.
And because perfection is an illusion it leaves you worse and misery becomes your companion.

Know this, perfection is just a myth because we are imperfect beings in an imperfect world and trying to achieve happiness through perfection is pointless.

Instead embrace and appreciate imperfection and you'll be a whole person.

A fulfilled life is what you seek and not happiness because sadness, frustration, pain, joy, failure are bound to happen.

Even though life seems hard learn from those experiences rather than hide from them.

Don't chase happiness

Focus on living your life wholeheartedly no matter what.

It's about how you react to the surrounding that determines the outcome.

Learn to take the bad and the good because as the saying goes

There wouldn't be a rainbow without a little rain.

Ann Davis is on a mission to help people succeed at fulfilling their dreams. Click over to get the Free Guide-11 Short Questions to help you find your true talent