03/19/2015 11:03 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Need to Justify Your Diet Coke Addiction? Two Words: Lipstick Experiment. Enjoy!

I have two major addictions: Diet Coke and lipstick. I drink at least one of the former daily; I own an inconceivable number of the latter. In some ways my addictions are fairly easy to justify (i.e., at least it isn't crack cocaine), but really the amount of lipstick I own and Diet Coke I drink is my not-so-secret shame. I recently realized that this same-drink/different-lipstick lifestyle creates, at long last, a justification for my Diet Coke addiction. Drink a Diet Coke; figure out how well your lipstick wears. It's almost like a "scientific" control (dunno, I was an English major) for a lipstick experiment.

Four lipsticks, four days, and, of course, four DCs were all I needed to test a variety of lip looks:


I find on days when I just want to look a bit more good, a peachy type of color is a good way for me to go. Here are two nice ones.

On the left is an extremely old Miss Sporty (think British Wet n Wild) lipstick in the shade "Bubblegum." I bought this before I started college (I have since finished college so should possibly be thinking about throwing this away...) because I thought as a real woman I should own at least one lipstick. I now own an embarrassingly large number, so it was obviously a slippery slope. It's a nice kind of cool-toned orange that smells like melon. As you can see from the photo, there is a transferring problem with this one, which can result in some smudginess on the face. The good news is that it reapplies really easily and doesn't do any unfortunate bunching. If reapplication is not up your alley then this can be blotted, patted, and worn as a stain, which works for a subtle but still bright lip.

On the right is the NYX butter gloss in "Apple Strudel." I bought it recently and I really like it. It's the perfect glossy peachy-pink and it seriously smells like liquefied cakes. Simply put, it makes your lips look nicer, and I quite enjoy the trashy-teenager vibes of applying lip gloss and drinking Diet Coke, preferably while popping gum and rolling my eyes a lot. As one would expect from a gloss, lots came off on the can. But what gets left behind on the lips still looks present and does not suggest some sort of skin disease. For a gloss, not bad at all.


Two more vibes I sometimes go for? Brown lipstick for the 90s supermodel, sexy-older-lady HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge, for the unfamiliar) feel. Basic sheer pink for lazy-pretty.

On the left is the Wet n Wild Megalast lipstick in "Bare It All," which I bought during one of my many "drugstore" runs since I've been in the U.S. Apparently it's a "dupe" for MAC's "Velvet Teddy," and I really, really like it. Contrary to the seemingly large amount that came off on the Diet Coke can, it's very long-lasting and wears really well. I am so into brown lipstick, this one in particular. I might buy lots more of these $2 guys and also start a campaign to get Wet n Wild to come to the UK.

On the right is an old faithful, Maybelline Baby Lips (the most offensive product name ever?) in "Pink Punch." This is the sort of "immature," garishly packaged, artificially scented lip product I love. A tinted lip balm also appeals to my lazy side (which is a very big side of me). It pairs well with not much other makeup to give a young, fresh, non-haggard look. There are some things which are just visually appealing on a base level, and slightly pinker lips are one of those things. Is it perpetuated by fairy tales? Is it because it makes you look like you've been passionately kissing? I don't know, I don't make the rules. But this firmly fits into my category of a "nice" lip product. You may or may not be able to see some slight transferring on the Diet Coke can (I'm a "writer" not a photographer, OK?). But I think, for what this product is, it lasts pretty well through a can of DC. For sheerer, balmier lip products like these, I don't care if some comes off, so long as my lips still look fine afterwards.

Judge all you want. I can now validate my two guiltiest pleasures in one fell swoop. And, unsurprisingly, considering that it is a combination of my two favorite things, I must mention how aesthetically pleasing a jarring smudge of color looks on the design classic, which is the Diet Coke can. So, next time you're sipping your addiction beverage of choice, spare a moment to consider it a part of an important lipstick-related experiment (using the words "important" and "lipstick-related" in conjunction is 100% fine and correct). Sip on, go forth, and Enjoy.


Top to bottom: Maybelline "Pink Punch"; Wet n Wild "Bare It All"; NYX "Apple Strudel"; Miss Sporty "Bubblegum"