06/22/2015 06:53 pm ET Updated Jun 22, 2016

Who Is Selling: Are You Making Money As a Coach?

There's so much to say in this topic that when I first wrote this, it was a long article. I had to cut it down to make it short to the point -- why the hell are you buying their story when you're supposed to be the one who's selling?

"I can't afford it"...but she has no problem paying $500 for that nice handbag.
"I need to discuss with my partner"...but the thought didn't even cross her mind when she bought that bag.
"I've got priorities at the moment" going on a holiday, not transforming her life or business.
"I just don't have enough cash in the bank and I don't have a credit card"...and she's still out having nice dinners.

Why is this happening?

1. Rapport, Trust & Money Conversation
You have no problem having a conversation, even building rapport by speaking their language, asking them the right questions that makes them feel understood and by that time, you're probably the most understanding Coach they've ever spoken to.

You might have also thrown in some social proof of what you've done. However, the conversation is coming to an end and...
Client: "So what's the price?"
You: {confidently saying} "Oh it's $4k for 3 months coaching"
{Awkward silence}
Client: "Sorry I can't afford it. We don't have that much money. In fact..." {They start pitching you their life story of why they can't afford, why they need to have a conversation at home and every excuse they can find on earth.}
You: {Dynamics are changing. Tables are turning. You're being pitched now. You're starting to feel pressured. You're scrambling for words just to get out of this conversation. Lots of thoughts going on in your head; Should I say more? Would I sound salesy? Would I be pressuring her? Would she get into trouble at home if she buys now? Should I even ask her how she could find the money? And the job is done. The client has sold you. You're now bringing your own money story into this conversation. Instead of hearing your client, all you can hear now is your own story.

This is also when one of the three things happen.
// You reduce the price -- you lower your standards and you start devaluing yourself.
// You say -- "OK I understand the situation you're in. May be next time then" ...Phew! At least you got yourself out of that conversation.
// Or you know she's not the right client -- If you're a newbie, sometimes it's hard to tell if this is the right client or not because your priority is to get a client so you might have ignored all the signs. That's OK but if you truly know she's not, then let her go, while being in your power. Don't waste her time and your time because you're not a good fit.}

2. Why
OK let's rewind. You're now having the conversation. Have you made sure you've communicated clearly 'why' you're doing what you're doing? Not to make profit, which is the result. Your deeper why. Your mission in the world and you mean it.

Remember the guy Simon Sinek? Well I've been trying to get an interview with him for some time now. He's a guru when it comes to 'why'. He explains that all of us know 'what' we're doing.
// What - I coach; I provide coaching services.
// How - We also usually know 'how' we're doing it. I coach through free contents: videos, audios and books. I coach through e-courses, groups, seminars and face to face. Great.
// Why - Do we know 'why' we're doing what we're doing? My mission is to help women find their purpose, meaning and mission in life so they can use their business as a vehicle to make things happen on a larger scale.

Apple is good at communicating their 'why'. They then go on to say 'how' they do and tell people "Oh we happen to sell great computers too. Wanna buy one?" So what's your 'why' and how are you going to communicate to your prospects?

3. Irresistible Offer
Have you made your offer irresistible to them? If you're making your product or service just another product or service in the market, why should they come to you? So how are you different? What's your irresistible offer? Have you included any early bird offers or fast action bonuses?

4. Perceived Value and Emotional Decision
When people buy, they make an emotional decision and then justify with logical thinking. When was the last time you paid a lot of money for that beautiful carpet in your home? Why did you buy it? Did you really need it? What kind of emotions did it bring up for you? And how did you justify in your head why you needed to buy? Get the idea?

5. Believe In The Outcome
This is probably the most important piece of the puzzle. I'm seeing a lot of people selling packages that they don't believe in. They are giving it a big hype and claiming the results they don't even know if people will get. If you don't believe in the outcome internally but you're reading the scripts that say otherwise, you will be sending subconscious signals 'scam alert!' and buyers have become very smart these days. If you are not congruent, you don't build trust. It's as simple as that.

6. Are you available?
Finally, this is the question I ask myself all the time. Am I available for stories that don't serve me? That includes both my story and other people's stories. And I mean this both for life and business. We're selling stories all the time. Some stories are worth considering and some stories are just justifications of why things don't work the way they should work.

So the questions I want to leave with you today are "Are you selling or are you being sold?" or "Are you making an empowered decision that she's not your ideal client and therefore you wish her all the best?"

If you've had enough of 'I can't afford' excuses, schedule a free Expert Positioning Session with me to learn how to position yourself as an expert in your field so you start getting 'When can I start' questions.

Arabelle Yee is a leading Business Psychology & Strategy Coach working with start-up women entrepreneurs from all over the world. When she's not coaching, she's either meditating, writing, reading or out in the nature with her dog. For more information visit her website or connect with her on Facebook.