America's New Favorite Reality Show: The Presidential Debates

It's Tuesday, October 16, 2012 and the presidential candidates emerge from opposite ends of the stage looking confident and excited.
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It's Tuesday, October 16, 2012 and the presidential candidates emerge from opposite ends of the stage looking confident and excited. From stage left enters Governor Mitt Romney and that 250 million dollar smile (USD). From the right enters Harry Potter enthusiast and President of the United States, Barack Obama.

The first thing that I noticed while watching the debate was that the two candidates were free to move about the stage while answering a question. I really liked this style of debate because it gave the impression that the two men were about to break into song and dance. I cannot help but think of the scene from Dirty Dancing, where Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey are dancing to "Time of my life." For the sake of practicality, I'm going to say that President Obama would be Jennifer Grey since he has relatively narrow hips. Yes Governor Romney, you get to be Patrick Swayze. Don't let it go to your head.

Another thing I loved about this debate was the bickering. My favorite line came from President Obama and it reads "What Governor Romney said just isn't true." At times it sounded as if we were listening to two 7th grade girls rather than two grown men. "You can't have a crush on him when I told you I liked him first!" "That's not true, you never told me that!" "Yes I did tell you, maybe you were sleeping and didn't hear me!"

The biggest disappointment for me that came out of this debate was the absence of a few key players. For one, where were Mitt Romney's good looking sons? Really CNN? You expect me to not notice that Josh Romney and those piercing blue eyes weren't gracing my television screen? Wishful thinking my friends. Second, where on earth was Wolf "I've looked the same for the last 30 years" Blitzer? If this debate was lacking anything, it was some of his signature intensity.

The part of the debate that perhaps received the most coverage was the notorious "Binders full of women" comment made by Governor Romney. The comment left viewers everywhere puzzled. I, on the other hand, know exactly what Romney meant. Instead of having to remember specific things about different women off the top of his head, he has it written down in the pages of organized binders. Page one: Hillary Clinton. Shoe size: 7 and a half. Favorite TV show: Extreme Home Makeover. Catchphrase: "BILL!" Page two: Condoleezza Rice. Favorite color: Red. Favorite movie: Steel Magnolias. Favorite man named George: George Michael. Page three: Ann Romney. Favorite food: Chicken Cobb Salad. Lucky number: 5. Celebrity Crush: Dick Cheney.

After each debate, Americans everywhere argue over who won. This debate was no different. As it would turn out, both President Obama and Governor Romney could not care less about who won because I like to think that after a long night of debating, their babysitter Candy Crowley took them out for ice cream. I imagine it was a mint chocolate chip kind of night for President Obama and a rocky road with sprinkles kind of night for Governor Romney. Let's be honest, at the end of the day, there's nothing a little ice cream can't fix.

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