Earlier this week, I asked for your suggestions on what gifts we should give to some of our favorite -- and not so favorite -- public figures. You responded with a flying sleigh's worth of great gift ideas. Even Santa's elves couldn't have been more industrious.
Now it's time to unwrap the presents. Here are our favorite suggestions for what we should stuff into the stockings of some of 2008's naughty and nice, starting with a few gift ideas of my own:
Alan Greenspan, Phil Graham, Chris Cox, Richard Fuld (Lehman Brothers), Franklin Raines (Fannie Mae), James Cayne (Bear Stearns), Angelo Mozilo (Countrywide), Joe Cassano (AIG): Hallmark's new "Sorry I Collapsed Your Economy" card to be signed and sent to the American people
Sarah Palin: A good time-slot for her inevitable reality show -- and an editor able to translate Palin-speak into actual sentences for her new book (if they can translate Greek-speak into English, I'll hire them too)
Norm Coleman: extended unemployment benefits
Karl Rove: a dustpan and broom to sweep up what's left of his reputation as a Boy Genius
Joe the Plumber, Reille Hunter, Levi Johnston, Ashlee Dupre, The Pregnant Man: a 16th minute
And here are your suggestions:
Henry Paulson: my bills (harobamason)
Rick Warren: Melissa Etheridge's greatest hits CD (jcgrim)
Gay Americans: equal rights (kelkelly)
John McCain: a new plumber (callmemara)
Rod and Patti Blagojevich: a swear jar (by the time Blago goes to trial, he'll have enough money to pay his attorneys) (IamaGApeach)
Rod Blagojevich: a haircut that doesn't make him look like the naughty next-door neighbor (auntcloud)
Mike Huckabee: On The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin (jcgrim)
Jim Bob Duggar: a vasectomy (sonomarc)
Plaxico Burress: rubber bullets, a holster, or a specially designed bulletproof vest for his leg (stewmaj)
Our Overseas Troops: next Christmas safely at home with their families (edenjones)
"Shoeless" Muntader Al-Zaidi: a Major League tryout (surely there is a club out there that could use a late-inning reliever who isn't afraid to throw the bean ball when some bum tries to crowd the plate (LaFajita)
Sarah Palin: a lifetime membership in Planned Parenthood (Family Plan, of course!) (2008CaliforniaFan )
Rep. Tim Mahoney: a chastity belt (SurrealPumpkin)
Ted Stevens: a visit from Santa's brother, Escape Claus (Expatessa)
Elizabeth Dole: a Sunday school refresher course (grateful4thedead)
Rachel Maddow: a White House post (harobamason)
William Ayers: an apology from the media (Kingbreaker)
The People of Connecticut: a special election to recall Joe Lieberman (LMPE)
Illinois and New York: special elections to decide who should fill their open Senate seats (AliMB)
Minnesota: "Senator Franken" (Letterman)
Every Senator and Congressperson: plaques for their desks that say, "Remember: Serving the people should be an honorable profession." (offred)
Howard Dean: a big 50 state "thank you" (Kingbreaker)
Barack Obama: steel for his spine -- he's going to need it (Virginia Plain)
Condoleezza Rice: some respect -- she lost hers while spouting the views of George W. (2008CaliforniaFan)
Dick Cheney: a soul to replace the one he lost -- or never had. (SeeDaddy)
George W. Bush: a sudden realization of all the damage he's caused the world (offred)
The American Public: a well-deserved break (TurkerB)
And there was this collection of board game gifts suggested by Miralo:
Bush: "Clue"
Cheney: "Sorry"
Condi: "Chutes 'n Ladders"
The MSM's punditocracy: "Trivial Pursuit"
Ordinary Americans: "Payday"
Obama (and I mean this in the best possible way): "Monopoly"