07/09/2014 11:20 am ET Updated Sep 08, 2014

10 Tips for Asking Someone Out on a Date

Tetra Images - Yuri Arcurs via Getty Images

Whether I offer you 10 tips for asking someone out on a date, or 10 tips for going out on the date after you have successfully asked, or even 10 tips for finding your true love, the overarching principle is be yourself.

1. First and foremost, be who you are, never "present" who you are.

2. Never seek approval, as in "I want to go out with you, I hope you like me." Whether your first or fifth, the date is much more likely to be successful when you are true to who you are and not seeking approval from others.

3. Care about the person you are with. This means don't just engage them on a superficial level, truly listen to what they have to say.

4. The reverse of #3. What you have to say also matters. So, when engaging your date, also listen to your Self, feel your heart. Don't try to be interesting. Be authentic.

5. When asking someone out on a date, whether it is on the phone or in person, take your time. Never rush. Rushing can often be misperceived as anxious, arrogant and/or inauthentic. Take your time.

6. Know yourself. Embody all of who you are. This is a little different than #1. Be mindful of your meaningful character traits, the ones you want to embody for yourself.

7. If you are nervous, uncomfortable or feel awkward in any way, so will your date. Be honest. If you are anxious, say what is on your mind and in your heart.

8. If you want to say what is on your mind and in your heart, but feel ill-at-ease in doing so, ask permission -- such as "May I ask you?" "May I say something?" even if the permission granted is tacit, at least you have respected the individual and truly asked.

9. Getting to know another person and letting them get to know you is an intimate process. The root of the word "intimate" means "intrinsic or essential." It is intrinsic to be who you are, essential that you must be who you are.

10. Have fun. Discover. Reveal.