Once upon a time and not so very long ago, marriage was considered to be a sacred thing. When a man and woman said, "Til death do us part" they meant it. No matter what the circumstance was they stuck it out and made it work! Today, marriage is not so sacred!
According to the CDC, 50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce. And out of all the reasons including infidelity, physical or verbal abuse, communication breakdown, and boredom; financial issues rank among the top. The main reason this is a big issue is because couples don't realize that when they get married and form a union they are not only marrying the person but also marrying their habits! If one partner is good with finances and the other is irresponsible than that causes a major problem. If priorities are different and the couple isn't able to come to a common ground then that too causes another problem. The fact still remains that in a relationship the odds of both partners being perfect are close to slim but despite that it is important that the relationship is worked on consistently so that there is continual growth. Some believe that, for the sake of the relationship, it is better to separate finances and allow each party to handle their share of the responsibility but the following are five reasons why mixing finance with romance is not only a good idea but can save your relationship as well.
1) Helps Build a Closer Bond
Once you make the commitment to enter into a marriage with your significant other, the saying "For better or worst" applies. When you separate your finances as a married couple what you are saying inadvertently is that "your issues are your issues and mine are mine." When you take the leap and combine finances, it is establishing that when things are good you are going to share in its joy together and when things are not so good you will work it out as one team. Doing this allows you to establish goals as one, aspirations as one, and all in all you build a bond that will not easily break.
2) Allows Better Understanding of Each Other
There's a saying that says "Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you who you are." When you understand your significant others money habits you begin to understand their real identity and why they do certain things. Whether your partner is frugal or lavish, this information will give you a front row seat into their personality, insecurities, past experiences, etc; This again allows you to build a closer bond and gives you the ammunition needed to become more empathetic instead of seemingly critical.
3) Enhances Tolerance and Problem Resolution skills
Of the 6,916,265,737 people living in the world today there are absolutely no two people whom are alike. Each person is unique in their own right so it is important that in a relationship each person is given room to be an individual. When you have a better understanding of who your partner is via money habits and putting your finances together it gives you more tolerance in accepting why they are the way they are. It also allows you the ability to resolve issues proactively instead of on a reactionary basis. The key to making this work is to normalize and embrace each others differences and use it as a way to come up with solutions.
4) Builds a Cohesive Unit
When you don't have anyone to hold you accountable for your actions it becomes easier for you to self-destruct. When your finances are together this automatically makes it easier to control your spending and decreases the need for impulse shopping. Some may view this as too controlling but the fact of the matter is that all couples should have similar goals and values, so in essence this step isn't to control you but to hold you accountable for what you ought to be doing anyway. You can practice this by writing your values down as a couple and figuring out how the decisions you make financially, fit into those values. This allows you to keep your values alive and forms a more cohesive unit that is growing together everyday.
5) Makes Individual Success More Enjoyable!
Human beings are competitive in nature. Having your money separate can possibly create resentment towards each other because if one is advancing faster than the other it makes the other partner either feel inferior or question their worth to the relationship. As you combine the finances, it truly makes the household one team, so as one progresses the other advances as well. This cohesiveness removes the innate need to be competitive and allows the team to concentrate on upward movement. Money has to be viewed as a tool that will help the family achieve all of its objectives. Whether it's buying a home, traveling, having children or retiring comfortably; all of these goals will be achieved faster if the couple works together.
If you follow this advice and start to live as one unit you will begin to see a dramatic change in your romantic life. Make sure that you remain open-minded to each others differences and allow room to grow. Just because one person was bad at budgeting in the past doesn't mean that they cannot learn and become a pro. You must also celebrate the successes and check on the family's goals periodically! Two minds are better than one! It is no doubt that you can probably manage the finances by yourself but as the saying goes, "Teamwork makes the Dream work!"