The question of whether or not our life has meaning or purpose is something that has stirred among each of us at some point in time and echoes continuously in the dialogue of our lives.
Is a life filled with purpose something we choose, or is it something that chooses us? Is it something that dwells deep within, or is purpose something that uniquely seeks to find each of us?
I've always passionately felt that the purpose and meaning in my life have come from striving to be a force of good, show love, and reflect the beauty that surrounds me. Purpose and meaning live within every breath, every moment, and every relationship: we merely have to choose to see its presence. They are alive and breathing within each of us.
Has purpose sought me, or have I been determined to find it? With this new season of life set before me and the impact Cystic Fibrosis has so recently made, the weight of life's purpose greatly weighs on my consciousness. I can't help but question my own understanding of what my purpose is and if I am truly fulfilling what I believe to be the meaning of life. Have I shared goodness? Love? Reflected the beauty that is present within my life? Have I made any difference? How can I give more, be a part of a greater good? I feel these days that I've been shown much more good than I've been able to share, and that I've taken much more than I've been able to give.
Meaning Amidst the Battle
I knew this current battle and road to healing was going to be a long and demanding journey, but I honestly didn't really believe it. After all, I am the master of mind over matter. There's simply no way CF would be able to keep up with me and my shear will and drive for life. Right? Honestly, I was wrong. My body has betrayed me. I am at a loss for words at the ruthless power of CF and its ability to cause such devastation: violently stripping me of my strength, vibrancy, and resilience. CF may be strong, but we will always be stronger. My life has great purpose and meaning, and I will reflect the beauty of life no matter the battle I face.
CF may have drastically changed my life, but I will not let it change the purpose that I have found or the meaning that has found me. There is always purpose. There is always meaning. They are resonating within the dialogue of each our lives. Regardless of what is happening in our lives, the battles we are facing, purpose and meaning are present in every moment, experience, and relationship great and small. They are alive in every breath we take: we just have to open our eyes to see it all.
Whether it is something I've chosen or it has chosen me, my life is filled with great purpose and meaning. With every breath I am given, I will always seek to share good, show love, and reflect the beauty that is life.