11/26/2013 01:44 pm ET Updated Jan 26, 2014

Taylor Swift Wins Award for Best Humblebrag

Jason LaVeris via Getty Images

You guys, I try so hard to not talk shit on Taylor Swift (after all, no one likes a hater). I think she's a talented, ambitious, beautiful young woman (and I've even defended her in a conversation once!), but last night at the AMAs... she was out of control.

Ms. Swift won a bunch of awards, including Artist of the Year. Yes, over Justin Timberlake. Which means that a bunch of tweens got a hold of their parents' landlines to call in and vote. Or however that works. And her acceptance speeches seriously blew my mind with their more-so-than-usual false modesty... also known as... The #Humblebrag.

In her first speech, she ACTUALLY dropped the number of albums sold. Like, she said the words "six million"... in a moment of gratitude. T. Swift wanted to remind us just how many albums she sold instead of thanking anyone who had anything to do with said album. I mean, thank who you want (after all, #ItsAllAboutTheFans), but that little maneuver is like the guy who casually slips his salary into conversation on a first date. Douche.

The second one blew my socks off even more (these are the socks in case you're curious). She reminded us that SO MANY RADIO STATIONS play her music because she transcends multiple genres. Then she tried to spin that tidbit of information into something about songwriting, but all I heard was, "I'm so famous I can basically write/play whatever I want and you will hear it on every one of your presets except NPR." Then she casually mentioned that she DOES have a YouTube presence and fans DO cover her music. Or rather, they "make it their own." It ain't just Miley running the Internet, y'all.

Can someone please educate The Princess of All Genres of Music and Radio and YouTube on how not to be a douche when accepting awards? (Anyone but Anne Hathaway.)

Ashley Hesseltine is founder of, where this post first appeared.