05/15/2013 04:10 pm ET Updated Jul 15, 2013

Keepin' It Real on Social Media

I've noticed in the last couple years, with myself (especially) and my clients, a heightened perfectionism due to all the visibility and exposure we have with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest. We all naturally want to put our best foot forward and present ourselves in the best light. However, by only showing or commenting on our most glowing moments, we play into what my coach, Mona Miller, calls the "high ego."

When we live in the "high ego," we incessantly compare and contrast ourselves to other people -- people we look up to or idealize, people we want to impress from our past (ex-boyfriends/girlfriends) or anyone we measure ourselves against externally and want to feel "better than." This momentarily boosts an inflated version of ourselves, but the high ego is just the flip side of the "low ego" -- the place where we are afraid we may not be "as good/successful/happy as..."

By constantly editing (instant "untag," anyone?) and embellishing, we only permit this idealized version of ourselves to rise to the surface, be seen and accepted. What we actually end up feeding is our fear that we aren't good enough, exactly as we are (all the good, the bad and the ugly). We deny, minimize and try to gloss over the more wrinkle-y, annoyed, sad, blah, mundane self (aka the shadow).

I challenge all of us, this week, to "keep it real" on our social media. If you don't have a profile on a social media outlet, then in your life, with your friends, co-workers -- be a little more transparent. Post, share or say something that's a little more vulnerable, authentic... a question you're struggling with, a mistake you've made or ask for help with something.

Let a picture live online that's not your absolute favorite (yes, I said it!) and just see how this feels to give yourself permission to live your full humanity -- all of your weakness, vulnerability and confusion, as well as all of the magic and beauty that we each carry.

Here's to sharing your shadow!

Please share a comment, question or link to your Facebook or Twitter showing us how you keep it real.

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