12/08/2014 08:23 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

23 Reasons Why Dachshunds Are the Undisputed Champions of Dogshaming

Love Dogshaming? Gift the Dogshaming book or the 2015 Dogshaming calendar this pawliday season!

There's a reason why a Dachshund kicked off the now widespread trend of Dogshaming. Why? Because Doxies are mutherpuppin' mischievous, naughty-minded dogs. And I will back this statement up 100% because I am the proud pup parent of a little weenie devil.

Image via @weirdwiener

Want more proof? Here are 23 reasons why Dachshunds rule at Dogshaming.

1. Their stomachs are black holes. Anything in the radius of their eye sight, they consume.

2. They make bad, just plain bad, decisions over and over and over again.

3. They're master criminals.

4. They don't see walls. They see challenges to be overcome.

5. They blind your beloved childhood cartoon companions...

6. ...and ruin classic childhood toys. Why? BECAUSE THEY CAN.

7. They WILL upstage the bride on her wedding day, because they know they're the prettiest.

8. Their evil genius extends to manipulating technology to make you cringe.

9. They don't believe in employee benefits.

10. What's their's is their's. And what's yours is yours--even if they have no use for it. So they eat it.

11. Burrowing is their passion. And their passion extends to everything you own.

12. They hate Christmas.

13. Their farts are just...oh God. The horror. The HORROR.

14. They're blasphemers.

15. They take sibling rivalry to a whole new level.

16. They're terrible hosts.

17. Even in sleep, they must be the center of attention.

18. They have an unholy fetish for underwear...

19. ...and feminine hygiene products...

20... really, anything that has to do with a butt, they love.

21. They will perfume themselves with household objects.

22. They're bird murderers.

23. Finally, and most importantly, they have no shame.

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Love Dogshaming? Gift the Dogshaming book or the 2015 Dogshaming calendar this pawliday season!

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