In a world full of big cynicism and seismic discord, it's time to celebrate and honor the little things that connect us. Sometimes those little things are random acts of kindness and generosity. Sometimes those little things are random acts of the digestive tract. And we're here to talk about the latter.
Farting is part of the universal human experience. Farting knows no borders: every person from every corner of the globe breaks wind. (The average person toots 14 times per day, in case you were wondering.) But most importantly, farting is just funny. And in this collective modern malaise that clouds our outlook with negativity, it's time to break out of our funk by laughing at another kind of funk.
This is what motivated us to write our latest book, The Fart Tootorial: Farting Fundamentals, Master Blaster Techniques, and the Complete Toot Taxonomy. And to spread the other kind of good vibrations.
Before you dismiss fart humor has low brow and juvenile, remember that Ben Franklin once famously remarked, "Fart proudly." And the great Louis C.K. more recently stated, "You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to." In fact, the world's oldest recorded joke is a Sumerian knee-slapper from 1900 B.C. about, you guessed it, ancient air biscuits. Here's the translation: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." (guess you had to be there.)
Fart humor is alive and well today. For proof, look no further than the thousands of tooting euphemisms uttered every day. Below are our favorite 150 fart terms for your reading and ripping pleasure. We hope you can work a few into your daily routine and share the positivity--one pulled finger at a time.
- Air biscuit
- Air tulip
- Anal audio
- Anal exhale
- Anal salute
- Anus applause
- Answering the call of the wild burrito
- Ass acoustics
- Ass flapper
- Back draft
- Back-end blowout
- Back blast
- Baking brownies
- Bark
- Barking spider
- Barn burner
- Beef
- Beep your horn
- Belching clown
- Benchwarmer
- Blast
- Blat
- Blurp
- Blurt
- Bomber
- Boom-boom
- Booty bomb
- Booty cough
- Bottom blast
- Bottom burp
- Booty belch
- Break wind
- Brown cloud
- Brown haze
- Brown thunder
- Bubbler
- Bull snort
- Bumsen burner
- Bung blast
- Burner
- Burp out the wrong end
- Bust ass
- Butt bazooka
- Butt bongos
- Butt cheek screech
- Butt dumpling
- Butt sneeze
- Butt trumpet
- Butt tuba
- Butt yodeling
- Cheek squeak
- Cheeser
- Colon bowlin'
- Cornhole clap
- Cornhole tremor
- Crack concert
- Crack splitters
- Crap call
- Cut one
- Cut the cheese
- Drifter
- Droppin' stink bombs
- Duck call
- Exercise the meat nozzle
- Exhume the dinner corpse
- Fanny beep
- Fanny frog
- Fecal fume
- Fire in the hole
- Fizzler
- Flatus
- Floater
- Fluffy
- Free speech
- Frump
- Gas
- Get out and walk Donald
- Great brown cloud
- Grundle rumble
- Grunt
- Gurgler
- Heinie hiccup
- Hisser
- Honker
- Horton hears a poo
- Hot wind
- Hottie
- Human hydrogen Bomb
- Insane in the methane
- Lay an egg
- Let Polly out of jail
- Mouse on a motorcycle
- Nasty cough
- O-ring oboe
- One-man salute
- Orchestra practice
- Panty burp
- Peter
- Pewie
- Pi p
- Poof
- Poop gopher
- Pootsa
- Pop tart
- Power puff
- Puffer
- Putt-putt
- Quack
- Quaker
- Raspberry
- Rattler
- Rectal turbulence
- Ripass
- Ripper
- R oar from the rear
- Rump ripper
- Rump roar
- Silly cyanide
- Slider
- Sphincter siren
- Sphincter whistle
- Spitter
- Split the seam
- Squeaker
- Stale wind
- Steam-press your Calvins
- Steamer
- Step on a duck
- Step on a frog
- Stink it up
- Stinker
- Stinky
- Taint tickle
- Tear ass
- Testing in the Levi wind tunnel
- Thunder from down under
- Thurp
- Toot your own horn
- Tootsie
- Trouser cough
- Trouser trumpet
- Trunk bunk
- Turd tremors
- Turtle burp
- Tushy tickler
- Under thunder
- Wallop
- Whiff
- Whoopee
- Whopper