06/12/2013 10:42 am ET Updated Aug 12, 2013

10 Essential Summer Lies for Parents

School is almost out. I can tell because my son took a hoe to school for Show and Tell. There's nothing that screams we're drinking the dregs of the school year like the kindergartner shouting "Mom! Hurry up with that hoe!" across the parking lot of the nice Christian school.

School is almost out. Oh, yes it is. And thank God 'cause the best of us are crawling on our bloody hands and knees to the finish line and the rest of us just flat-out collapsed on the course weeks ago. I, for example, am sitting in the medic tent with an IV drip and I don't even care that I'm not going to get my finisher t-shirt this time. They said when I'm done rehydrating I can have a cookie, and, friends, that's good enough for me.

So. Let's talk about the summer, shall we? It's right around the corner. Which means it's time to start lying to ourselves and lying hard, parents. And these are 10 of the essential lies we shall tell ourselves:

  1. The summer is way easier than the school year.
  2. Nothing says fun like a 900 mile family road trip.
  3. No school. We get to sleep in!
  4. I just love having a vegetable garden.
  5. Family vacations are so restful. We're going to kick back and relax.
  6. My kids watch very little TV, especially in the summer when they can be outside.
  7. Ice cream is a breakfast, lunch and dinner food because it has milk in it.
  8. We're going to get caught up on everything.
  9. Swimming is the same as showering
  10. Potty training in the summer is a breeze.

What do you say, parents? What essential lies are you telling yourself this summer? Any you'd recommend to other parents in need of a few good stories?

Beth Woolsey is the writer and humorist behind the Five Kids Is A Lot of Kids blog. Beth is described by readers as "optimistic, authentic, poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, [capturing] the mom experience with all its pathos and humor." This article was compiled from an original piece there and readers' comments.