05/02/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

My Review of Celebrity Apprentice as a Former Contestant

My intention really was to write a blog about "what you don't see" on reality TV with regards to the editing. That was until I watched the Celebrity Apprentice tonight which was incredibly tragic.

I was on The Apprentice which was a much more intense version, given that we were slaves willing to sell our souls to the devil, sign any contract and do anything at any time. insiders know that Mark Burnett gives out 50 page contracts to contestants, and if you even so much as dispute a comma in the contract, you are out. He doesn't care, and there are several hundred thousand people willing to jump in, take your spot and exploit themselves as I once did.

Naively, when I first applied it was for The Apprentice: Season 2 with Donald Trump, I ended up being on the Martha Stewart Version later but people are always so surprised at how intense the screening process is. At the risk of Burnett suing me (which he is never afraid to do) you basically send in a tape (which I did on a bet) or go to an open call (which is where more people are chosen). Then the process weeds down to a few hundred people around the country that meet with the casting crew -- so you can be taped talking about whatever makes you tick.

I was so intent the first time. I had my hair and makeup done, the perfect outfit and I was there to sell how great a businessperson and do-er I was. Low and behold, I was asked to the top 50, to go to hotel, be sequestered for a week, be locked in my room all day and night (except for brief psychological IQ, and emotional testing and meals). During the meals and walks through hallways, you couldn't even look at anyone else. Essentially, the real game and the mind games begin here.

In typical Bethenny fashion, my being a dog on a bone and telling Mark just how dedicated I was didn't work. I was the first alternate but missed the top 18 by 1. I was devastated and not until years later did I have to go through the same process to get on Martha's show, the
more appropriate fit. The difference was that this time I was at my wits end and just threw caution to the wind having my "I truly don't give a crap what you think" attitude. This reality television format (like most) is TV is built on outlandish and dramatic characters vs. actual credibility and business acumen. I was so naive that I actually thought this process was about wanting the job at the end of the competition.

This brings me to the current Celebrity Apprentice which is in theory a great idea. It just is funny to me that they can leave for appearances; they have access to their normal lives and can call friends when in a jam. The laymen's apprentice is for the person looking to be a sheep and abused with no phones, papers, credit cards, cars or any freedom.

Truth be told: I loved it and what I loved most is no different than what I loved about scavenger hunts. Ready set go and let's see how quick and creative we can be. I loved knowing exactly what the tangible goal is and going for it. I digress... on the Celebrity Apprentice -- poor Dennis Rodman. His boardroom scene with Trump and both teams were tragic. I don't think the show had been as great this season until this episode. For good reasons, it hasn't been overly dramatic because the talent are great people. Jesse James has such understated intelligence and morality. Hershel Walker takes his job seriously. He is a disciplined athlete, but Dennis, who obviously has a drinking problem, has taken a different route. He always has been but is really now a complete accident waiting to happen.

Brian McKnight, Hershel, Clint Black and Jesse James are so impressive as are Joan and Brande Roderick. I love a hot blond being as smart as some of those moguls. The show has gotten better, and I can't yet predict winners. Brande would be so great, but she isn't as sharp as Melissa Rivers or Annie Duke. Khloe won't last long. She may be gone next week. My top 4 have to be Joan, Melissa, Annie Duke and Brian or Jesse James.

I really can't wait, and truth be told, I'm jealous. That is one game I can play. I don't sleep, I'm beyond competitive, I love a task and I love to be in charge and organized.

Great idea. Hopefully, Dennis will make a comeback and be sober. I can't help but comprehend and visualize Madonna and Carmen Electra being attracted to that at any point. to that. They must be missing a major screw if they matched up with him for even more than a moment.

I love that the show will turn celebrities into housekeepers, valets concierges and service people. Maybe now they'll be very respectful when they're on the road.