THE BLOG
11/21/2005 09:43 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Cheney to AEI: Thanks, I'll be Here all Week

Some of the most irresponsible comments have come from politicians who actually voted in favor of authorizing the use of force against Saddam Hussein. These are elected officials who had access to the intelligence materials. They are known to have a high opinion of their own analytical capabilities.

(LAUGHTER)

-- Vice President Dick Cheney, addressing the American Enterprise Institute, Nov. 21, 2005 (Transcript via The Washington Post
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No, but seriously. I don't wanna say the Democrats are Quislings. But like Norwegian Fascist Vidkun Quisling, they'd doubtless collaborate with a hated enemy.

(LAUGHTER)

I kid the Democrats. But you know, they're not all bad. Jack Murtha's a good man, a Marine, a patriot. A little heavy, though. When he sits around the House of Representatives, he really offers aid and comfort to the enemy.

(LAUGHTER; APPLAUSE)

And hey, speaking of the House, what's up with that crazy vote? First Murtha says he wants the vote, then he says he doesn't... It's almost like he's trying to call attention to a cheap procedural trick by the Republican leadership! Hel-lo-o!

(LAUGHTER)

So let's see, what else is in the news... ? Hey, I'll tell you what's wild: In a post-9/11 world, the president and Congress of the United States declined to trust the word of a dictator who had a history of weapons of mass destruction programs, who actually used weapons of mass destruction against innocent civilians in his own country, who tried to assassinate a former president of the United States, who was routinely shooting at allied pilots trying to enforce no-fly zones, who had excluded weapons inspectors, who had defied the demands of the international community, whose regime had been designated an official state sponsor of terror and who had committed mass murder.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

...and who's so fat he's got his own zip code!

(LAUGHTER)

Thank you! You've been a great think tank! Don't forget to tip your resident scholars and fellows! G'night everybody!

(PLAYOFF MUSIC)