THE BLOG
03/13/2007 06:16 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Is Bush's God an Idiot?

Before deciding to invade Iraq, Bush, apparently, or so he says, talked it
over with God, and God, says Bush, told him to invade, or at least made it
abundantly clear that he supported an invasion of Iraq very, very, very
strongly, presumably because God hates Middle Eastern dictators with lots of
oil as opposed to lots of other dictators without lots of oil. God knew
there were no WMD's because God is all powerful and can see all or he ain't
God. Apparently God didn't tell Bush he would create terrorists and unleash
ethnic hatred which would drag us into a death spiral quagmire, either. So
the bottom line is God told Bush to invade Iraq, which is the most tragic
blunder in U.S. history since the decision to legalize slavery- a blunder
that has humiliated this country and will imperil the security and economic
interests of America for the rest of this century. Is God an idiot?

Maybe Bush's God is a terrible geo-political strategist who doesn't
understand America or the world. Maybe like Elvis he burned out and lost
his way and has become fat and bloated and out of touch. Maybe Bush's God
is in the terrible throes of an Elvis-like Vegas death spiral.

Perhaps Bush wasn't praying to God. There are lots of freaks out there who
would no doubt take advantage of a man obsessed. Maybe Satan ditched the
pitchfork and horns and put on a hippie wig, flowing beard and some flowing
white robes and pulled the wool over Bush's eyes. I can't imagine that
would be too hard to do. Maybe Bush really channeled some prankster of a
spirit pretending to be God- the way people pretend to be others when they
make prank calls- and frat boy pull my finger Bush fell for the joke.

Maybe Bush really had God on the line and Bush kept pressing for this Iraq
invasion and God tried to warn Bush but couldn't dissuade him to abandon his
foolish plan and got disgusted with Dubya and just turned his back and
walked away- at which point Bush thought he won the argument. Or maybe Bush
was/is caught up in a solipsistic loop and mistook his own head for God- he
just heard himself in the dark urging himself on to Iraq all along.

The jury is still out on this whole Is God an Idiot question in my mind for
several reasons. It's widely known within certain talking to God circles
that when people do bad things God punishes them- 9/11 was punishment in the
eyes of the God of Bush crowd. To them Katrina destroyed a sinful city, and
San Francisco gets rightly walloped every now and then- God is constantly
kicking sinner ass.

So let's say our death spiral quagmire in Iraq is punishment. Why does God
want to destroy us and humiliate us? There is no doubt that is exactly what
is happening. All of Bin Laden's dreams and goals are coming true. God
isn't just teaching us a lesson in Iraq from which we can recover- he is
stripping away our strength and power. We are done in the Middle East as a
military influence, and we are now fated to sit by and watch China become
king of the hill. Does God love Osama Bin Laden more than he loves Bush?
Why is Bush taking orders from a God who loves Osama Bin Laden and wants to
humiliate the U.S.? Did Allah kill Jesus? Jesus was a pacifist, after all,
and Allah has been known to kick some serious booty- doesn't even seem like
a fair fight. Poor, poor Jesus!

Or could it be that we are being punished for our sins? Let's see- what
have we done to deserve such a backbreaking defeat in Iraq. Slavery?
Maybe, but I thought that issue was settled. It took 500 years but
eventually Jesus gave southern Christians an ass whooping and freed the
slaves and got some civil rights on the law books. Northerners died in
droves as well, paying them back for tolerating the evil of slavery for so
long. Did we rely on oil too much? Did we overthrow too many democratic
elections in South America and the Middle East? Should we not have waged
predatory economic war on developing countries and the environment? OK, but
aren't all our heinous sins kinda offset by stopping Tojo and Hitler and
holding off the Rooskies in the Cold War? Don't we give away billions and
billions each year? Besides- there is a huge contingent of people in
America who are prepared to develop alternative fuels and stop interfering
with other governments. God could've just as easily made those forces
dominant if God thought that was the way to go. But God didn't. In fact,
God has gone far, far out of his way to make sure Bush is in power. God
wants Bush in power- no doubt in my mind. But since Bush has done nothing
but ruin this country's authority, power and prestige, the question becomes
"Why would God want BUSH in power???"

Let's back it on up for a minute. People rely on an all powerful
combination of corporations and government to run the world and provide them
with order and protection. In return for giving up control of our lives to
this authority structure we get someone to blame when things go wrong (think
Katrina) and an expectation of safety and security so we can pursue
happiness. With all the big stuff out of the way we get to be little kids
who can afford to get upset when they change Coke's secret formula and when
Simon Cowell gets too mean.

What we give up for this dubious warm and fuzzy sense of security is
responsibility for our government's actions and for our society's decisions.
They overthrow other governments, pardon themselves, meet with energy
companies behind closed doors, rig insurance laws and we complain and rarely
throw them out of office. Most Americans want health care, gun control and
to end the Iraq war now. Fat Chance. Authority doesn't want those changes,
and we don't want to give up relying on Authority to give us security. So
we take the scandals and call them assholes and move on from O.J. to Anna
Nicole to who ever is next.

We no longer get to have it both ways. Authority is no longer taking care
of us. Jobs are leaving, cities are dieing, health care is beyond nearly
everyone's reach, we can't secure enough energy without being in a constant
state of war. Authority's way is failing all around us. Refusing to take
responsibility for ourselves is creating too many problems around the world
and is stunting our growth as spiritual beings. So we pray to God for a way
out. Here's my question- perhaps God wasn't answering Bush's prayer at all.
What if God was answering OUR prayer to find a way out from under
Authority and still have security by answering Bush's prayer? Here's the
evidence that the answer is "yes".

If God really does love America and Americans, and wants what is best for
us, then God is going to make us responsible for our lives and the actions
of our government. God is a good parent. If that is the case then the
authority structure running the world has to be taken down.

How does God accomplish such a goal? We won't take down our own security
blanket, apparently. A head on attack? No way, Jose. There is no way the
ever proverbial Powers That Be can be attacked successfully from the
outside. They would only get stronger if attacked, as evidenced by Pearl
Harbor and 9/11 for those brief days when we came together as a nation
before Bush invaded Iraq.

Authority can only be brought down if it rots away from the inside out.
What better place to start then with the Bushies? The Bush family does
nothing if not embody the powerful combination of Corporate America and
Government that comprises the worlds' Authority structure. So God planted a
rotten apple in the Bush family and made sure he, not Jeb, got the Big Job
at the right time.

Had a competent man been president on 9/11 we would have by now killed Bin
Laden, protected our borders, secured Afghanistan and we'd all be sitting
pretty. We'd have no debt, so we wouldn't be on the way to becoming China's
play toy, Social Security would be in good shape, we could've focused on
Afghanistan and Al Qaeda would be reduced to a nuisance, North Korea
wouldn't have the bomb, and Iran wouldn't dare press on with it's nuclear
program because we wouldn't be tied down in Iraq. Iraq is headed towards
another dangerous dictatorship so we've wasted everything there. But a
competent President would only make Authority stronger, and Authority is the
problem.

The first sign of Authority's collapse was Clinton's impeachment- instead of
paying attention to running the world Authority got caught up in a blow job
and missed Bin Laden's gathering power. Instead of learning a lesson,
Authority used their unnecessary and dangerous destroy Clinton campaign as
sign of righteousness. That is some Vegas-Elvis rot. Then came Florida in
2000, the Patriot Act, and the big blow- Iraq. There were no WMD, which
slapped the smirk of credibility off our government's face. Then Katrina
came along and made their inner rot even easier to see and spread the rot
farther and deeper. We had the Capitol Hill page scandals, Republican Faux
family values, Scooter Libby, Walter Reed, 8 fired prosecutors- the scandals
are as profound as they are endless. All these hideous scandals and one
paltry, bullshit conviction. There is zero accountability. If that isn't
rot then nothing is.

Now we have the news that Newt Gingrich was having an affair while he tried
to take down commander in chief Clinton as Bin Laden prepared to attack this
country. Talk about a bloated Vegas phase! Neo-Con Republicans- men who
left stockpiles of weapons and billions in cash unprotected for our enemies
to raid, men who created a terrorist haven in an oil rich country and
destabilized the Middle East- men who refuse to care for our troops on and
off the battle field- men who had no conclusive evidence of WMD yet made the
world believe otherwise- men who have done more to harm this country than
anyone since the secessionists- these men ignore their hellacious sins and
instead of resigning in shame say those who oppose the greatest blunder in
our history and its practitioners weaken our troops and embolden our
enemies. Now that is some spectacular rot right there my friends- that is
some of the most squalid, stenchy, worm-ridden Elvis-Vegas rot you will ever
see.

God needed a man like Bush as President so that things could collapse. And
as things collapse around us we are forced to take responsibility for our
lives and for our government. Young Americans are far more realistic about
what they can expect to get from the Military when they sign up for those
college loans. Americans other than Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who can
afford to lose everything, are re-thinking building in flood plains and
other dangerous locals. Many insurance companies won't insure certain risks
they once lined up to handle. At this point we can't live in harm's way
then blame the government with a straight face when things go badly- we'll
be dead if we don't look after ourselves. Bush's America can't count on
waving the flag to make everything all right in their hearts and minds any
more. Kids who pig out on soft drinks and candy are getting diabetes before
they hit their teens with no health care system in sight capable of taking
care of them. If no health care doesn't get people to take care of
themselves then nothing will. Survival of the fittest will have all new
meaning in post-Bush America.

To those who say Bush's God is heroic and is saving the world: All those
who say they speak for God had better start squawking. What really happened
between God and Bush when Bush decided to go to war and squander American
security, wealth, power, life, faith and good will? Did Bush hear things
right or did he get it wrong? This moment in our history is not one of
those "Oh, ye of little faith" scenarios." Bush has toppled America. It's
all about China from now on. If Bush got it right then why are we being
punished so hard? If he got it wrong- whose side are you on- God's or
Bush's? If Bush did get it right and God is an incompetent bloated Vegas
version of his past glory, then what is Bush's God saying now? Everything
is in hand but it'll take me 500 years to fix this? We'll all be speaking
Chinenglish in 50 years, dude.

We are bankrupt and our future is mortgaged to the Chinese and their
military. We have no ability to handle tomorrow's crises. We have been
knocked off our perch and there is no getting back, not with China's economy
growing at dizzying speeds. God is either talking to his earthly
representatives and apologizing for this mess, or he has a Take Down America
plan, or there is a third option: God put Bush in power to bring down the
authorities that run this world so we will be forced to take responsibility
for our lives and for our government. What say you men of faith in Bush?
What does your God say now? I for one would like Bush to come clean and
release the tapes of his conversation with the God who ordered this idiotic,
unwinnable self-destructive war. And there had better not be any 18 minute
gaps.