So, I was having a few cocktails with my of my favorite brideys following a super long décor and design appointment, and after a few drinks, she told me that she and her fiancé had been fighting a lot lately. As you may know, a bride sharing personal information is a daily occurrence in the world of a wedding planner (and honestly, I was just thankful she wasn't telling me about a really itchy yeast infection (true story!), or her fiancés gross "thing" on his elbow so I considered myself lucky). I took a long swallow of my drink, and asked her what was going on.
She looked at me and asked, "Does your industry purposely make arranging appointments as inconvenient as possible for their customers?"
WHAAA? I was having a hard time understanding how fighting with her fiancé was related to "the industry", and it must have shown because she continued by saying, "I mean it's always a struggle to get stuff done". Yeah... I'm still not following... and again, it showed.
"Jacob and are constantly stressed trying to make time for these appointments, and when we finally do find time, usually it's difficult to coordinate them so that we can attend together. I find this extremely frustrating. And that frustration leads to our fighting," she offered.
Oh.... I see. So now it's "the industry's" fault you are fighting with your fiancé. Got it.
"Rebecca, let me see if I am understanding you correctly. You and Jacob are fighting because scheduling time for vendor appointments is a pain in the ass?" I asked.
"Yeah. And frankly I'm a little annoyed that we keep having the same fight over and over again. I just don't understand how come we can't accomplish a lot of this stuff on the weekends. It would certainly make our lives easier. I think your industry needs to try harder to provide better customer service," she said.
OMG! What the...? Breathe BB, breathe. Maybe it was the sangria rushing through my veins or maybe I needed to squash Rebecca's inner bridezilla before I saw too much and started to hate her, but I responded by asking her a simple question.
"Rebecca, when's your wedding?" I asked.
"Huh? Uh... BB I HOPE you know when my wedding is," she said taking a swig of her cocktail.
"What day, Rebecca?" I asked.
"Saturday," she said slowly pausing to connect the dots.
"Rebecca, trust me, if the industry could make it easier for their clients to schedule appointments on the weekends, they would. But, pretty much all of your vendors are busy working weddings or events on the weekend, and THAT has to be their top priority," I said.
"I guess that makes sense," she said softly.
"Yeah... So stop fighting about something you can't control, and just accept the process," I said and finished my drink.
Brideys read this again. Because I can assure you that your vendors are not trying to be difficult or make it inconvenient for you to schedule an appointment with them. They are simply being mindful of the couples who are getting married the same weekend you'd like to meet. I mean... consider yourself fortunate if you get the opportunity to meet with any one of your vendors on a weekend.
Think about it this way... That gorgeous ring on your finger is a symbol of your commitment to be married, and that's obviously a huge step in your life. Well, so is planning your wedding. So please, do yourself a favor... commit to the planning process too. Because just like marriage, it has it's ups and downs and it's how you deal with it that matters.
In a nutshell... quit fighting, start accepting, and stay Bitchless.
How is your wedding planning going? Are you fighting more with your fiancé since you got engaged?