04/17/2008 02:56 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Wall Street Traders Offer "End of the World" Options

A Wall Street friend who deals in billion dollar derivative deals --- Puts and Calls --- sent me the following email which outlined a way to protect his investors against unexpected contingencies.

....Call me for pricing on the Puts, I'm an axed seller.


July 2008 LHC End of the Universe Puts
by Johnny Debacle

People are concerned about an end of existence event that may be caused
by the Large Hadron Collider and there is talk when the LHC is turned on
in July 2008, that a super-collision here, a super-collision there and
*bam*, no more Universe. This would doubtless be an event from which
most investors have not adequately protected their portfolios. That is
why Long or Short is now offering LHC End of the Universe Puts. It's a
simple put option wherein the buyer retains the write to sell the
Universe at a strike price of "Existing". Based on our Black-Holes model
used to value all "end of the world" options, the July 2008 vintage
options are currently priced at $20.

Link to purchase

Recommendation: These options are literally the only way to protect your
portfolio from the possibility that when the LHC is turned on
mini-blackholes will form, come together and have a blackhole party that
literally rips the (cheap) fabric of universe asunder.

From Wednesdays New York Times

Gauging a Collider's Odds of Creating a Black Hole By DENNIS OVERBYE
Published: April 15, 2008

Today we require more than prayers that a scientific experiment will not
lead to the end of the world. We demand hard-headed calculations. But
whom can we trust to do them?

That question has been raised by the impending startup of the Large
Hadron Collider. It starts smashing protons together this summer at the
European Center for Nuclear Research, or Cern, outside Geneva, in hopes
of grabbing a piece of the primordial fire, forces and particles that
may have existed a trillionth of a second after the Big Bang.