THE BLOG
04/19/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

There Is a Beauty Within You #18: Part 2 of 2 - My Experience of Being Pure Awareness

(Continuation of There Is a Beauty Within You #17: Part 1 of 2 - My Experience of Being Pure Awareness)

I remain in the center of my chest looking out at students waiting by their classrooms. When I look at any person, a beam of orange light about 3 inches in diameter extends out from the base of my sternum to theirs. They don't react to the light in any way. It seems to be the very same light I saw above my head. It is like the liquid orange waterfall that came rushing into my head just moments ago, only now it is a much thinner tube of light. I move my attention from one person to another. The beam of light follows my attention, moving to the heart of the person I look at.

This orange beam of light from my heart area is similar to the images of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Mary. They are often depicted having beams of light streaming out from their hearts, though the light from my heart doesn't disperse out in many directions like theirs. It stays a 2 inch diameter, laser beam of light moving out from my heart to each person I look at.

"So the images of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Mary are not just an artistic way of expressing some spiritual truth. They are depictions of the reality of Jesus and Mary. So this is how they communicate - heart to heart."

"Do we also communicate with each other on some deeper level, heart to heart, beneath the conscious mind? Are their beams of light always moving between us secretly?"

My mind's rebuilding of reality is interrupted by a thought clear and powerful. It comes from some unknown, deeper place.

"This is how you were made to live, but because of pain you retreated up into your head, hiding behind a personality. The personality is a defense against this pain. All sin and addiction comes from the personality."

There is a brief pause and then, "This is why I am the God of compassion. If a person lived here (the heart space) then there would be no addiction or attraction to sin."

The power and import of these words burned away a library of ideas and beliefs held sacred, unchallenged and precious just a moment before.

I think to myself, "I don't want to leave this space."

But again the pressure builds above me. This time is different. I don't get pushed to another part of my body. Instead, I am pushed from above while at the same time feeling the earth beneath me fall away. It is as though I am falling through space. Panic grips me. As I fall, I am disappearing at the very same time, becoming smaller and smaller, like some meteor burning out as it falls through the sky. I am certain I am going to die.

"So this is what dying feels like."

It is as though a tremendous force of gravity crushes in on me from all sides at once. I become smaller and smaller still, until all that remains of me is just a point of awareness. I wait for this last small spark of awareness to be extinguished by the immense, empty darkness surrounding me. I wait to die. I wait and I wait . . .

"I have stopped falling!"

I am suspended somewhere, somehow, but only as point of awareness. I have no dimensions or attributes except one - awareness. I am spared! The destruction stopped just before the very last bit of me was snuffed out.

I am aware of being surrounded, immersed in the most personal of personal loves; a point of awareness in an ocean of compassionate, personal, blissful love. It is a love I recognize as the one I always wanted on some deep, forgotten level, a love that satisfies completely. Mercifully, the ancient hunger and emptiness for this love is only fully remembered in the same instant it is found.

"Ah. So this is heaven."

Here is my eternal self, perfect in its simplicity and stillness as a point of awareness. My eternal self was always whole and complete, nothing to change or fix, to improve or develop. There is nothing to become.

How will eternity be spent? Being awareness in the present moment, surrounded by an infinitely compassionate, personal, blissful love.

I didn't stay here but a moment. I seem to be floating above heaven now. It appears as a cluster of stars swirling in the emptiness of space, forming a radiant cloud of light.

Next, I am back at the college, shaken, stunned, about 60 feet from where the vision had started, at the other corner office of the 210 building. The leaves of plants around me glow slightly. I blink, look away, and walk toward my office.
.
After getting my books, I walk slowly to the classroom. Standing at the podium, I look out at my student's faces, knowing at the same time we are connecting heart to heart. I am in a room of eternal beings of pure awareness, residing in flesh and blood, looking for expression through mind and will, emotions and heart, each heaven on earth waiting to be revealed.