11/24/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Oh Noes , You're Outrage: Hating On The Family Guy Critics

Let’s walk through the following blog post. The excerpts are from “Family Guy Hacks A Cat To Death: Humor Or Repugnance?

“That’s it. I’m not going to sit here any longer and do nothing but jaw with supporters of Family Guy on my Hub”‘

If you don’t want to jaw with them, why don’t you just delete the comments or block the users? Why does everyone think a blog is a democracy? Its not.

“I’ve just sent this letter to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) through media channels and intend to follow up to ensure that action is taken.”

Really? Granted, PETA freaks over everything (just ask the president), but it’s a cartoon. A. Car. Tooooooon. Out of everything to be offended with on Family Guy (how about that joke with Meg, the hot dogs, and the New York Knicks?) you’re upset about Peter killing a cat?  Stewie beating the crap out of Brian was ok?

Hmm. Brutal violence. Questionably racist hot dogs. No? Not offended? But an anoynmous cat? Oh NOES, YOU’RE OUTRAGE!

“As a leading blogger on the number one internet publishing platform HubPages, I have railed against Seth MacFarlane and Fox Network’s Family Guy for unethical and repugnant subject matter which has no right to be shown on the public airwaves of the nation.

Whoa. A leading blogger? Sorry dude, unless you’re on this list, the only thing you’re leading is a trail of smoked bullshit. I’ll give you that Hubpages has a lot of traffic, but if you’re a leading blogger, wouldn’t you need to appear on, oh I don’t know, on the first twenty pages or so of the best Hubspot authors?

Oh, and number one Internet publishing platform? Hmmm. Blogger. Wordpress. Typepad. Even Live Journal is ranked higher than Hubpages on Alexa.

“However, in the episode of Family Guy aired last night, April 19, 2009, this following scene completely left me disgusted, nauseated and revolted:”

Wait. I thought, “I have railed against Seth MacFarlane and Fox Network’s Family Guy for unethical and repugnant subject matter which has no right to be shown on the public airwaves of the nation”. So why are you still watching it?

“As a lifelong animal lover I cannot possibly imagine the effect that this scene can have on children, showing one of their cartoon heroes savagely killing and desecrating the corpse of a household pet.”

Dude. I taught in the ghetto. If you think what kids see on Family Guy is going to have an adverse effect on them, you’re a fool.

I find no redeeming social value to a young impressionable child channel surfing and watching what to all outward appearances is a fun kiddie cartoon and ending up viewing a man mutilating a household pet or a half naked woman trying to have sex with a tied-up dog, whether the dog is anthropomorphosized or not.

Television broadcasts not on PBS require social value? I realize Kim Kardashian is hot, but where’s the social value in Keeping Up With The Kardashians?

I’m pretty sure Family Guy airs at 9pm. It’s not 10pm, which is when it should air if you want to split hairs concerning content that airs according to the FCC guidelines, but I like how you assume:

1) Kids are retarded. They’re not.

2) That kids are watching the show on television. They’re notthey’re watching on Hulu. AND if their parents are responsible, the family computer is downstairs, not in the bedroom, where an adult is around if needed if not present as the kids are watching these shows.

“I see no reason why the public airwaves must feature content which not only promotes felonies, pornography, bestiality, animal mutilation, and other forms of horrific violent nihilism, but wraps them in a cartoon format to specifically appeal to young people.”

You know The Flintstones when they aired promoted cigarettes, not to mention sexism, right? And that was outright promotion, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Married With Children, I could go on, but that is all satire meant for entertainment. If you can’t deal with it, you can tune out the “public” airwaves in favor of any number of alternatives. I hear that Internets is awesome.

“I have been advocating that Fox remove Family Guy from the broadcast airwaves, and either put it on an XXX rated satellite channel which is for adults only, or package it in a DVD format and sell it in adult stores. If Family Guy is on the public airwaves which are administered by the FCC on behalf of the people of the United States, then it needs to be removed immediately as pornography.”

Yes. He said that.

“PETA has a long history of activism against television broadcasters who promote animal cruelty. From Reuters on August 15, 2007 with regards to a Gaza TV station airing footage of a cat being swung by his tail:

“It’s shocking and sickening,” said Martin Mersereau, manager of the domestic animal abuse division of U.S.-based People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).”

Huh. An actual person swinging a cat around violently registers a response from PETA. Whoa. I am now freaking out!

If PETA took this level of action with a single television station in a very small market and audience, I hereby formally request that your agency act immediately and forcefully against a television program promoting the massacre of a household pet viewed last night by millions of Americans.

I’m failing to see the quantum leap here. PETA responded to a program featuring actual people abusing actual cats in the name of education. I won’t debate the merits of Palestinian Television (this clip says it all), but you want them to freak out on a fictional person, abusing a fictional cat, in a cartoon, because you’re offended?

Listen, no one cares what I think. That’s why I’m posting this on my blog and not answering this on television or in the news. No one cares what this author thinks either. All because we’re all social publishers doesn’t mean people care about what we have to say.

Quite honestly, I’m tired of folks like this. Bullies. You remember bullies? That’s what they’re being right now. A loud, stupid, bully who is trying to grind their axe against a cartoon, and to what end?

Let’s say the author has their way and Fox suddenly caved and pulled Family Guy off the air. Then what? They’ll find something else to be outraged with. And then something else. And then something else. In most cases, this would be an assumption on my part, but for people like them, this has been the course of action for years now. All these idiots all worked up thinking what they say matters suddenly because they’ve found other idiots who share their myopic opinions.

For all the good social publishing has brought to us, these people represent the worst kind of evil. The kind our young men and women go overseas to fight against. No sir, I call bullshit on this author, their misdirected anger, and the kind of America he and his friends would leave us with. Enough is enough and I’m tired of the stupids dictating what we can and can’t do or watch.

If we don’t stand up to bullies like this, it won’t end until bland, stale programming, not targeted to anyone in particular, airs on every single channel, on every time of night, on every website around the world. What. Did you think they would stop with America?

We will all live in a place where we dress the same, act the same, and smile the same empty, souless smile that accompanies corpses when they’re displayed at a wake.

And the stupids will be happy with this, until someone looks at them funny or says something in jest, and then you’ll find something else to spew crazy at.

I hate people like this, many of us do, we’re just too busy living life, being responsible, and having fun to acknowledge their existence. But I’m acknowledging their existence because I pledge eternal hostility against their kind, and any self-righteous bully out there that wants to blame everything for what’s wrong with society instead of taking personal responsibility.

If this guy and his friends care so much about the children and what they interact with, what the hell are they doing online writing blog posts like this? Shouldn’t they be out volunteering and helping the children in need through wonderful programs like Big Brothers and Big Sisters? Yes. Yes they should.