09/24/2010 06:25 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Do You Need Your Butt Rejuvenated? Go to a Wedding Expo! (VIDEO)

I can't get married right now in California. That's an unfortunate fact. But that doesn't mean I can't think about it until it becomes a reality. Problem is, I don't know the first thing about how to have a wedding -- just how to go to them, eat cake, watch old women get drunk 'n horny, and watch young women get drunk 'n sad.

But weddings have always seemed slightly terrifying. So to get a clearer idea, I asked infoMania's Erin Gibson to take me to a wedding expo and show me everything I need to know. And also everything no one should ever know ever.


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