08/05/2010 08:06 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Masculinity In Crisis!

After a brief love affair with metrosexualism, the pendulum of American culture has shifted back to the straight side. And who wouldn't want to be a real man? Look at the rad Old Spice guy! Real men do awesome things like ride horses, grow mustaches, lift weights, seduce girls, own motorcycles - they are, in other words, the total opposite of feminine.

The new ethos seems to be... Bring back the real guys and smear those queers.

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