11/17/2010 05:37 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

What It Takes To Be an A-List Gay (VIDEO)

When Logo's gay tastemaker "The A List" -- described as "Real Housewives with Balls" -- announced it was casting a Los Angeles edition of the reality show, I knew what I had to do. I filmed this audition tape (even though I'm basically a shoo-in).

How could the Logo network not take a man who shops at both Target AND The Gap, a jetsetter who splurges daily on two venti iced green teas at Starbucks to fill the cupholders in his Ford Probe? Help me make my dream of appearing on a real TV show come true. (Oops, sorry; I forgot about infoMania.)

And just in case you've never seen the reality show that teaches us that self-absorption is open to all regardless of sexual orientation, see some clips below.