Fox News' New Women's Magazine Is a Real Page Turner

Fox News put out a woman's magazine and it's essentially a how-to guide to get a husband and become the perfect wife.

So far I've learned that if I'm single it's my fault, how to add pizzazz to my scrapbooking and it is a huge no-no to eat any of the following in front of your man or else you will gross him out to the point of no return: meatloaf, spaghetti, olives with pits, tacos, garlic bread, spinach, buffalo wings, any house special sushi roll, chicken curry, onion rings, french onion soup and, last but not least, beans. What the heck can I eat?!

More articles I found quite useful ...

--"What a Man's Choice in Beer Reveals About His Personality": Apparently Heineken drinkers are a catch because they'll buy you more stuff... wonder what they'd say about guys who drink shot 'n' beer specials, like my boyfriend.

--"7 Signs He's Not Into You": Sign #7: you go out to eat burritos. Well, I guess I can see why! Burritos have beans and, according to the list at the top, I am only allowed to eat beans if someone has a gun to my head!

-- "Single Ladies: Fishing": Direct quote: "If you find yourself longing for a mate this year with none in sight, the one thing you know is that you aren't doing something right." This article would have made me want to kill myself in my single days!

--My personal favorite, "5 Qualities Men Look for in a Wife": Here are some interesting snippets from this one:

  • "She is not going to blow through your income on materialistic items." I love that they assume that any money she has to spend is his.

  • "She has a great work ethic, whether it's at her job, at the gym or as the president of the PTA." A least in this snippet they admit that she could have a job.
  • "It's important a woman can support her man through the hard times, because there will be some." Where does mutual support fit into this? I know that us little ladies don't have much to worry over besides what we're making for dinner tonight or whether to plant petunias or marigolds in the front flower pots, but cooking and planting can be tough too!
  • I especially love that if the writers of this magazine could experience a typical day at my and my boyfriend's apartment, they'd likely have a coronary at the first mention of "POOP!" "BUTTS!" "FARTS!" "I DROPPED A BOMB!"

    We eat a lot of beans.