07/17/2011 10:43 pm ET Updated Sep 16, 2011

How to Convince Your Mate to See the New Harry Potter

Whether you're a semi-geek or all out Potter-head, chances are, due to the whole "opposites attract" law, your partner is not as excited as you are to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II in theaters.

Last night I tossed and turned. Not just for myself, but for the millions of people invested in the life of the young orphan wizard who didn't know if they'd be among the first to catch the new flick. The movie was released three days ago in the US, premieres today in Canada, and over the next few weeks around the world. I know what you're thinking -- "see it alone." Voldemort scares me.

If you've ever spent an afternoon looking for butterbeer recipes, listen up. I've been brainstorming and have come up with five strategies for convincing the love in your life to join you on this epic journey, hand in hand, popcorn and soda (and maybe a hot dog) being the only things between you.

How to Convince Your Mate to See the New Harry Potter Movie

1. Lie. I don't fully endorse this method as it may result in trust issues, but if you can pull off buying the tickets ahead of time, saying they're for Transformers and then acting genuinely surprised at the "mix up"... it's worth a shot. Who wants to throw away $30 worth of movie tickets? *** This won't work if you're dressed in character and is best utilized for first or second dates with relative strangers.

2. Cry. If you don't mind appearing mentally unstable, turn on the waterworks. Explain how the Harry Potter books were what kept you going through middle, high school, or college depending on your age (keep in the mind that the story gets more pathetic the older you are).

3. Barter. Promise sexual favors or, if you're willing, agree to see a movie that you'd normally never agree to. I suggest that you are specific about the terms of the (written) contract, expiration dates, issues of transference, etc.

4. Conversion. Creating a Harry Potter fan cannot be done overnight, so this method will take a few days to a few weeks. Don't try to explain plot lines over dinner unless you like being walked out on. Instead try to incorporate spells, movie/book quotes, and decor into your daily life. Switch out your partner's bathrobe with a black cape and iPhone with a wand-like stick from outside. Find ways to incorporate ideas from the book. If your partner comes back from work in a bad mood mutter audibly, "someone is from the house of Slytherin!" Before putting your key in the door exclaim "Alohomora!" and then laugh generously and unlock the door yourself. Switch out "I love, you" for "We love Harry." Don't do the last one.

5. Offer to Sneak in Alcohol. Neither the writer nor the Huffington Post can be held responsible if you decide to go forward with this dangerous, illegal (awesome) suggestion. Don't bring red wine lest you fall asleep!

Even though last year I saw the Deathly Hallows dressed from head to toe as a young Gryffindor co-ed, dating someone who would do so is out of the question for me, and it probably is for you as well. Let this guide serve you well, brave Potter fans. See you tonight... unless I'm wearing my Invisibility Cloak! LOL!