THE BLOG
01/25/2016 02:16 pm ET Updated Jan 24, 2017

A Surprise at the Pediatrician

A few days ago on Martin Luther King Jr. Day my son had his two-month pediatric appointment. My husband had the day off and was able to accompany us. I had set up the appointment in accordance with his schedule because I knew my little man would be receiving multiple shots, and being our first time, was unaware of what to expect from him.

Apparently many other people had the same idea because the office was crawling, no pun intended, with children. We were taken to our room quite quickly but waited for about 45 minutes for the doctor to see my son.

While we waited Royce was in nothing but his half full diaper due to having; his weight checked prior to seeing the doctor. I had him sitting upright on my lap bouncing him and letting his wobbly little neck get some exercise. He was thoroughly enjoying his little escapade starring at the blank wall in front of us when out of nowhere he decided to fuss.

A little disgruntled at having to wait and wondering if he was upset because the wall wasn't responding to his cooing, I began to re position Royce on my lap. As soon as I sat him down on my leg he let out a slushy explosion of poop.

In a split second of panic and hilarity, my husband and I watched a volcanic flood of yellow-orange poo fill his diaper so fast that it rose like a tide and spilled over onto my crotch and leg....and I could do nothing but watch in dumbfounded awe.

After the inevitable rupture, my husband swiftly swung Royce from my lap to the examination table and began to clean him up. I frantically flung a diaper and wipes at my husband who was futilely trying to keep the clean half of our son out of the "poosplosion". I was left using an unfortunate amount of wipes to "bathe" myself enough so that my crotch no longer resembled a massive poop scented mustard stain.

Fortunately, the doctor didn't make it in until just after we inadvertently repainted his exam room. My pants simply looked as though I spilled a bit of water, and my son was presentable enough to receive high marks in the doctor's exam. Disaster averted. I can't to see what our four-month appointment has to offer.