10/31/2013 04:14 pm ET Updated Jan 23, 2014

15 Differences Between ObamaCare and MamaCare

1. Maximum Age for Dependent Medical Coverage
ObamaCare: 26
MamaCare: None. It's always and forever

2. Cost of Plan
ObamaCare: Variable (Depends on plan premiums, deductibles, coinsurance, co-pays, and health savings account)
MamaCare: Hugs and kisses

3. Prescription Drug Benefit
ObamaCare: Variable
MamaCare: Homemade chicken soup

4. Wellness Visits
ObamaCare: Covered at 100 percent
MamaCare: Anytime but you need to stay for dinner

5. Pre-existing Conditions
ObamaCare: Covered at 100 percent
MamaCare: Go ahead, blame me for your "pre-existing conditions"

6. Where to Purchase
ObamaCare: Insurance exchange
MamaCare: Not for sale

7. Political Resistance
ObamaCare: House Republicans
MamaCare: Household Ragamuffins

8. Cause of Delays
ObamaCare: Government contractors
MamaCare: Mama is never late

9. Legality Upheld by
ObamaCare: Supreme Court
MamaCare: Because I said so

10. Plan Levels:
ObamaCare: Bronze, silver, gold, platinum
MamaCare: I love all my children equally

11. Consequence of Noncompliance
ObamaCare: Tax penalty
MamaCare: Guilt

12. Start Date
ObamaCare: January 1st, 2014
MamaCare: The day you were born

13. Benefits for the Unemployed
ObamaCare: Medicaid, CHIP, or lower prices/greater subsidies
MamaCare: You're moving back in?!?

14. Breastfeeding Support
ObamaCare: Plans must provide breastfeeding equipment and counseling
MamaCare: Let me show you how it's done

15. Dental Benefits
ObamaCare: Generally not covered
MamaCare: I had to pawn my wedding ring to pay for your braces